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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Tolerancedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: elephantasia
    ASL Info:    37/F/UK
    Elite Ratio:    3.54 - 398/490/159
    Words: 129
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 774
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 917



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTolerancedots
    -------------------------------------------


    A dripping tap repetitiously echoes;
    and sinks into darkness,
    draining away
    into spiralling depths.

    Can you sleep
    in this broken silence?
    Are you annoyed?
    Frustrated?

    Each drip echoes
    a calling for
    the return journey
    home to the sea
    in a voyage
    of discovery.

    Can you see the horizon?
    Is the sun up yet?

    Can a mere drip
    have the power
    to awaken you?
    Will you be blinded
    by annoyance?
    Or will you open your eyes
    in curious wonder?

    Will you seek light
    in the darkest of moments?
    Can the sound of a dripping tap
    bring sweet music to your ears?

    Will you listen?
    Is that you I hear dripping?

    What melody is that?

    Did these words touch you?




    Submitted on 2006-05-29 16:52:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      way to take those little moments and make them mean something. the dripping tap metaphor made the poem, anyone could say what the poems says, but it's the creative way you say it that makes it good. awsome job.

    peace
    meredith.
    | Posted on 2006-05-31 00:00:00 | by art_is_hard | [ Reply to This ]
      I love your spin to the dripping tap. Ive never thought of it that way and its wonderful to see a change of perspective. For me, of course, the tap dripping was annoying. The words did touch me. Great work. take care.
    | Posted on 2006-05-29 00:00:00 | by fiery whisper | [ Reply to This ]
      1. Yes I can
    2. A little
    3. Not at all
    4. Idk
    5. Yes
    6. uh huh
    7. They did.
    I like the way you put that somewhat revolting dripping tap in a new light. You are right, Music to my ears now. I now know why it drips, the water just wants to go home...
    | Posted on 2006-05-29 00:00:00 | by Arev | [ Reply to This ]
      Yes, these words did touch me. I found this write, in a strange sort of way, enlightening. I liked the constant questioning you did, to grab the reader's attentions. I liked the idea of bringing a dripping tap into this write. Perhaps, you could ask some more questions to make this even more powerful than it already is. Other than that, this was a thought-provoking write from you. I would like it if you took a look at a write of mine. Thanks


    Abbas
    | Posted on 2006-06-06 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]
      OMG. this is definately going into my favourite's list. Thanks for using my suggestion. This is really strong now. Enjoyable to read, difficult to critisize

    Abbas
    | Posted on 2006-06-06 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]


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