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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: To cutdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Localfreak
    ASL Info:    37, Maybe, Here
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 131/123/76
    Words: 173
    Class/Type: Poetry/Cutting or Mutilation
    Total Views: 1022
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1056



    Description:
       This is something that I tried with my girlfriend Sian..
    She writes a little when down and chose the topic for this.
    I'm proud of it because I believe it captures both of our opinions on the suject in one point of view.
    anyway I just hope somebody enjoys it as much as me..


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTo cutdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The Blade tears through the same old Hole
    But still I cannot stop
    The Anger bleeds from in my soul
    The emotional first cut
    A Blaze Of Red and sweet Release
    Echoes from my nerves
    But pain it does not seem to cease
    Each night it still returns

    An addiction to rely on each long day
    When nobody else feels
    A lifeline to grab and to help you stay
    Within a life filled corpse
    A manmade razor not built for this
    But to clean a smiling face
    Now destroying and cutting the surface
    Of a child of the human race

    A desire like this cannot be resisted
    By those of us with the truthful lives
    Implements drag then are twisted
    To wrench emotions pain from inside
    A heart to shatter and veins to break
    But still it hurts less than each breath we must take
    People to smile for and laughs to fake
    As tears roll down from my eyes

    The Sweetest
    Silent
    Lullaby




    Submitted on 2006-05-29 20:25:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is really sad
    I too have experienced cutting in my lifetime
    I do realize most people cut just to remind themselves they are still alicve
    It truly is sad
    I only wish more people would look at the beauty in front of them because that beauty created by the Hand of God can erase all negativity
    I know this to be true because it has happenend to me
    God Bless
    Your Friend
    Ron

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-05-29 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      This is brilliant writing. The last two stanza were especially rich in clever imagery and rhyming. My favourite lines were:

    "A manmade razor not built for this
    But to clean a smiling face
    Now destroying and cutting the surface
    Of a child of the human race"

    and...
    "A heart to shatter and veins to break
    But still it hurts less than each breath we must take
    People to smile for and laughs to fake
    As tears roll down from my eyes"

    So powerful, I really enjoy your writing, if you ever get the chance I would love to read your comments on some of my writes. ~Sunset



    | Posted on 2006-05-31 00:00:00 | by sunset | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a great write, its very cute that you wrote it together, ..I'm not one to write things with other people, it just comes out weird, lol. But anyways, lovely write. The flow was perfect, and it spilled with emotion..

    "The emotional first cut
    A Blaze Of Red and sweet Release"

    Those were most likely my favorite lines, I can relate..The first cut almost hurts the most, but the next cut always hurts less, and its deeper, releasing more pain..replaces emotional pain with physical pain, sad, but true...It helps, but erm I stopped, yay! Anyways, lovely poem, keep up the great work, I'll definetely be back for more of your pieces.

    Lucy
    | Posted on 2006-06-19 00:00:00 | by rainbowXrazors | [ Reply to This ]


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