[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Dreaming in Blackdots

    Author: Persephone
    ASL Info:    19/f/ US
    Elite Ratio:    3.53 - 328/352/136
    Words: 188
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1007
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1170

       Kinda funny that I'm righting this slightly optimistic poem today. It's raining and I really did just wake up from a dream where I had gone blind. This is kinda how I felt about the whole thing.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDreaming in Blackdots

    Last night she dreamt she had gone blind,
    Dreamt that she'd lossed all ability to see.
    But this was not a scary dream,
    But one that made her so happy.

    In her dream, she was free in soul and mind,
    She could leave hurt and anger here,
    For not being able to see, scorns all hate,
    What if you're screaming is the cause of a tear?

    And as her dream moves on,
    She moves more gracefully,
    moving with nostalgic movements,
    Slow, determined, and constantly.

    Upon the waking of her dream she cries,
    her tear drops running down unchecked,
    From hurt and deep green eyes,
    Would it not be better, if she'd really gone blind?

    But things will get better, she tells herself,
    She can see and act as she did in that dream,
    She can be free of the walls of sight,
    and look passed what everyone seems.

    But if perhaps she really does lose her sight,
    Someday see black in a world of light,
    Even if she can not watch the sunset,
    Some day, she whispers, I will still find the right.

    Submitted on 2006-05-29 22:27:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is a very visual poem. I love the idea of finding something out about your self through an adversity that only occured in your dreams, I am reading the Circle Trilogy and it is about roughly that. I like the fourth stanza the best, even though it breaks the rhyme scheme of the others it is the most effective. ~jennah
    | Posted on 2006-06-04 00:00:00 | by jennah | [ Reply to This ]
      There is not much that I can add to this. There is definitely a feeling of anxiouty when you wake up from a dream to find that you are miles away from that "reality". Very nice peice!

    "Dreams are but shadow truths that will endure when memory is ashes and forgot." Neil Gaiman
    | Posted on 2006-06-15 00:00:00 | by Mr.Wednesday | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    True Death written by layDsayD
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Summer written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Push written by JanePlane
    Linger written by saartha
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Bond written by saartha
    Every..... written by jackz
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Wavelength written by saartha




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]