Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: 11.42am,7th floor of a flat, 30th May 2006,Sg.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: RyukiTZR
    ASL Info:    14/F/-
    Elite Ratio:    3.94 - 133/130/44
    Words: 273
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 281
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1864



    Description:
       Some totally random stuff. The SIGHTS and mainly SOUNDS when I'm sick, somewhat bed-ridden so I simply recorded stuff that happened, starting from my room...
    Don't mind me, I just feel 'off' today.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots11.42am,7th floor of a flat, 30th May 2006,Sg.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Cool, strong air.
    Symtoms of rain.
    Light-weight items take off from their normal positions in my room.
    Long raven hair whipping in my face.
    As I started writing this.
    The drops started falling.

    I walk over to the balcony,
    With the rain sputtering in.
    The wind now slapping hair off my face,
    And dots and more dots of water on my skin.
    Gives me a shivering wave of melancholy.

    Then a crashing, yet sharp roar of thunder...
    (Strangely) Unable to see the flash lightning...

    A police siren?
    An empty plastic bottle crashing onto the wet concrete from a height?
    Then a softer rumble of thunder...

    The rain eased a little,
    In my room I prayed for it to stop completely...

    A car hummed through the wet puddles on the road.
    Could hear neighbours swearing some shit,

    And me thinking what else to write then.

    A chain of louder thunder
    Dad's keys chiming randomly;
    He's going off to work.
    Walked over and help him get his shoes from the cabinet as
    The floor was wet
    And he was lazy to take of his socks.
    Waved goodbye to him,
    And after he left,
    Saw a strangely new notebook.
    Peeped into it and saw a page full of
    Magic the Gathering trading card game combinations.

    Got back to bedroom.
    The sun shines magically through the window,
    Rain stopped.
    Everything seemed brighter already.
    Even the birds go back to their chirping,
    And flying about.

    Notice the humming noise of the fan...
    Switched it off, went to my bro's room and

    Log on the Es.
    12.04pm.




    Submitted on 2006-05-29 23:55:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I didn't like the idea but I like dthe way you wrote this. It was creative and cool though. I didn't like the beginning, it got a little interesting. Great job in testing just how long a title can be. The end was cool. This is something I could relate too [except for the rain, which i could only wish for]. I'd like if you took a look at my latest work


    Abbas
    | Posted on 2006-05-30 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]
      The idea was great, but around halfway through, your sentences got choppier and choppier.
    But I liked the imagery that you used.
    | Posted on 2006-05-30 00:00:00 | by xgirlxbassistx | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.