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Sometimes When You Speak


Author: SorrelsReality
ASL Info:    25/ Female/ See Quote.
Elite Ratio:    6.52 - 175 /113 /20
Words: 152
Class/Type: Poetry /Longing
Total Views: 1395
Average Vote:    4.0000
Bytes: 890



Description:


No matter how close I feel to my Lord, there's something that happens in my life that pulls me away, and I have to climb back up, struggle to hold on. I fall, every day, but in all this, I know that he loves me just the same.


Sometimes When You Speak



The signs are there, but I just don't look
When all the answers are in just one book;

The rock in my path that I just kick away
When all you wish from me, is to take a moment to pray;

The passage on Sunday, was it directed towards me?
Sometimes I think I 'Choose' not to see;

You have a way of opening my eyes
You seem to uncover even my best disguise;

A comforting warmth, when I need you there
Softening my heart, calming my fears;

All these things, you do for me
Forgiving my sins, so that I can be free;

Painting my world with your ever precious love
So why do I act as if it's never enough?

Open my eyes, I beg you to help me see....

Let me hear you, when you speak to me.






Submitted on 2006-05-30 11:23:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Again I think your a little hard on yourself? God is all forgiving and understands everything right? So I knows how you think and he knows you love him.
greater words were never spoken then these right here.
kelley Frost
| Posted on 2006-10-26 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]
  This is pretty good. You do a good job of portraying our relationship to the Lord, how even when we’re faithless He’s still faithful (Thank you Lord). Some minor changes I’d suggest mostly for rhythm and flow. Feel free to use ‘em or lose ‘em.

PS. Any pronoun referring to God is usually capitalized like a proper name.


The signs are there, but I don't look – DELETE ‘JUST’
When all the answers are in one book; - DELETE ‘JUST’

The rock in my path that I kick away - DELETE ‘JUST’
all you wish from me is to take a moment to pray; - DELETE ‘WHEN’ & COMMA

WAS THAT PASSAGE Sunday directed towards me?
Sometimes I think I 'Choose' not to see;

You have a way of opening my eyes
You seem to uncover even my best disguise;

A comforting warmth, when I need you there
Softening my heart, calming my fears; - HOW ABOUT ‘EASING MY CARES’?

All these things, you do for me
Forgiving my sins, so I can be free; - DELETE ‘THAT’

Painting my world with your ever precious love
Why do I REJECT YOUR CARE FROM ABOVE? – RHYMES BETTER

Open my eyes, I beg [Y]ou to help me see....

Let me hear when [Y]ou speak to me. – DELETE FIRST ‘YOU’ & COMMA

Nice work!

Peace,

Joe
| Posted on 2006-05-31 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
  You are too sweet, I didn't expect you to write something new that quickly. Thank you

One typo in L2 on should be "one" I think.

"You have a way of opening my eyes
You seem to uncover even my best disguise;"

I love that.

Did you just whip this up? Because this is wonderful. Sometimes I think I choose not to see. How true. We all do that. I'm glad you wrote this, it gives me some things to think about.

Pulling your foot out of your mouth,
Tom
| Posted on 2006-05-30 00:00:00 | by UnspokenDreamer | [ Reply to This ]
  I really like this piece. I can definately say I've been there/ am there. I like the rhyme. The flow in the last four lines threw me for a bit. But I kept reading "... with your ever precious love" and I thought you should take out "ever", but it works, I was just reading it wrong.
I still have a problem with the flow in the last two lines. Thanks for sharing this.

May God Bless You and keep you and make His Face to shine upon you,

NicelyJ
| Posted on 2006-05-30 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ]


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