Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Raisin in your Arterydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Colten
    ASL Info:    19/Man?lol/U of I
    Elite Ratio:    3.05 - 62/99/43
    Words: 170
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Dark
    Total Views: 594
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1111



    Description:
       Just trying to release my evil side...he's an evil little bastard isn't he.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Raisin in your Arterydots
    -------------------------------------------


    What would happen if I shoved a raisin in your artery?

    Let us say your Superior Vena Cava to be exact.

    Now...this raisin would plug up your circulation.
    It would act as a clot, stemming the flow of blood to your heart.

    You would instantly have a heart attack.

    You would show all the signs of a classic blood clot heart attack except...
    It would not have been caused by a natural blood clot.

    *maniacal laughing*

    Just imagine your body screaming for blood.

    Your heart is desperately trying to pump,
    But nothing will come.

    So...

    The cells in your heart that cause it to beat work overtime.
    They increase the voltage of their shocks,
    Trying to get blood into your failing body.

    Unfortunately, they try to hard.

    The power in the beats catches your heart on fire!
    And you burn on the inside...
    Then explode.

    All because I put a raisin in your artery.

    *hysterical laughing*




    Submitted on 2006-05-30 21:40:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Haha..wow..you are so demented...nice!! Isn't it fun writing about killing people? The dark side of life is so much fun to write about...dementia, paranoia, killing lust...makes me wanna write one now. You should let your evil side out more often!

    ~Kat
    | Posted on 2006-05-31 00:00:00 | by MorbidAngel114 | [ Reply to This ]
      lmao, I laughed at this, very demented, but it totally rocked. I don't have much to say about this...I'm speachless. I'm adding this to my favorites if you don't mind...very desricptive, you definitely shot many morbid images in my mind. Keep writing like this and I'll beback for more!

    *tox*
    | Posted on 2006-05-30 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      Ok, that was slightly scary. It was good, really full of imagery, which is always a plus. Now it scares me just a little bit becuase you put so much thought in how you would do it. So...the lesson I learned is to never make you angery. and no chocolate rasins at the movies for you!

    Cheers,
    ~Sephe~
    | Posted on 2006-05-30 00:00:00 | by Persephone | [ Reply to This ]
      hmm.... interesting thinking... i really like where you were going with this... however... you would not isntantly have a heart attack... it would take aproximately five minutes... but they would immediately feel lightheaded and pretty horrible. this was a little less of a poem... more of a kind of rant... but i liked it anyway... i think adding more would be good. make it into a poem and add a bit more... i liked it. enjoy
    | Posted on 2006-05-30 00:00:00 | by Esophagus1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh Colten...this is very twisted and strange. Although it does make you think of those people out there who may deserve a couple raisins...just something to think about. ~jennah
    | Posted on 2006-06-04 00:00:00 | by jennah | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    105374

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Love written by saartha
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    The World written by jjd
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Cover written by saartha
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Carry written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry