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    dots Submission Name: bond agedots

    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    57/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2777/1297/258
    Words: 88
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 751
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 720

       Isn't it about time 007 got a beat down by one of the women he aimed to seduce? Perhaps castrated by a fierce all girl gang of uber-bikers with no respect for lame martinis and viagra laced smiles? Ah, well. I still believe the villains are way kewl...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsbond agedots

    Ah yes, the broad
    shouldered, slope skulled

    'You're so big
    and burly and I'm
    so lean and intelligent;
    certainly your brute
    subdural instinct will suffice
    for genius, and my hunger
    for encyclopedic dalliance
    will be the death of my kind,
    possibly in several millenia,
    give or take a few

    "So what do they
    hunt around here?"
    he coyly asked, swirling
    the olive, vermouth
    and gin.

    "Us," she said swiftly,
    bolting for the treeline
    as the suave lecher fell
    with a single shot.

    Submitted on 2006-05-30 23:29:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      bondage. in the films the personified-sex big tits bond girl is trapped in endless repition of being seduced by an accent and the obligatory stunt, and the male audience think "cor! I'd do her!!!" and imagine her while in bed that night.

    so obviously you've got the bondage of the female by the embrassingly alpha male stereotypes that still persist and exist. then you've got the bondage of intellect, personality and passion in the media instant-satisfaction distorted-desire [censored] pretty things buy shiney things culture. and maybe even the bondage of bond by left over animal instincts? maybe i just feel sorry for him, a slap would have done. but someone just had to be dramatic...

    for some reason i imagine this poem being read at a dinner party and people spilling their champagne laughing unknowingly at the cleverness.

    and i really have nothing useful to add at all. i wouldn't change a thing.

    | Posted on 2006-06-03 00:00:00 | by Icarus | [ Reply to This ]
      this is genius!!! Hilaaarious!! Wow, it's just... and it's such a pun, you know? (well of course you know, you wrote it!!) Incredible!
    I loved how you used the tirelessly-used james bond formula (man is wooed and then attacked by vixen, I think? I've only seen one bond film) And yet it tackles the collective unconscious of human attraction. And I figured that the first lines
    Ah yes, the broad
    shouldered, slope skulled
    were a reference to cavepeople. :-D I don't know. I just imagined Racquel Welsch and some caveman having this kind of encounter. I really loved the dialogue part, it was so biting! hehe!! And very bitter, too. ;_; Really, a great poem, totally hilarious, I read it to my sister too and she laughed. ^.^
    | Posted on 2006-06-14 00:00:00 | by Kristen Gudsnuk | [ Reply to This ]
      Hee hee! YEAY! This poem is certainly not what I expected from reading the title, but it sure did peak my interest to come in and see what this was about and I am glad I did. This made me smile and I really enjoyed reading this. It is about time Bond got what I always wanted to see him get and imagine, a single shot even!! haha! This is very well written and expressed and the subject matter is just great. There may be more here than meets the eye too, but I wont go there. I just enjoyed this poem. That is that. Take care.

    | Posted on 2006-06-08 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the way you did the title... to me it alluded to James Bond and his time being up, but also I see someone escaping bondage, which I like a lot. For all the reasons everyone else already listed and your ability to make a poem humorous but not trite or dumbed down... you made my day with this one...
    | Posted on 2006-06-08 00:00:00 | by parabola | [ Reply to This ]
      Very, very clever. The title itself is very intriguing. I never would have guessed James Bond as the subject matter. Don't you just love surprises?

    Then after reading your description, your first line ends in "broad" and I'm thinking broad as in in dame , chick, woman, ya know? and it's another little surprise when it's not. Talk about keeping me on my toes.

    The giveaway, when you know it's Bond, is in the part with the martini. If it were my poem (which I know it's not), I would leave off "vermouth and gin". Let the reader figure out that it's a martini. The olive tells the story. The fun of reading poetry is being able to figure stuff out in it sometimes. Leave a little brain work for the reader to do.
    | Posted on 2006-06-17 00:00:00 | by annie0888 | [ Reply to This ]

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