Description: this is the best i could do to describe why us "boys" never show emotion or signs of life... most fathers think it's the way men are supposed to be...
BoyS DoNT cRY -------------------------------------------
"Sit up!
to the table!
stand tall..
like a 'big-boy'
dont cry! (dont wince)
like a little girl
when i hit you!
take it like a man!!
boys dont cry!!!"
And so the years dragged on
and held me by the neck
they branded me with their conduct
so that I'd never forget
And every mistake i made
meant another hit
but t'was the only way reach me
'cause my skull was so thick
And now!
Now i'm completed!
Now i am a man!
they calaused
my mind and soul
so i now can stand
Through the years they never let
a tear drop from my eye
and so now i am a man
who has forgotten how to cry
It's the fathers trianing us
so that we will make it by
it is for own own sake
that boys will never cry...
Hey this was a good poem but I have to say it must be hard to grow and learn not to cry for when you build up so much hurt later you finally burst. Men are men and to every other man if they cry then that says their not a man, to me they are but sometimes things are rough and you need to cry. Guys to me that cry are more men then the ones that dont cry because they are willing to let it show. I hope you are ok. Take care and I loved the poem.
your poem makes me so sad, for you and for all men who are not "allowed" to cry. it's a cruel thing when you're not allowed to express your true emotions, especially the negative ones. the lines "they calloused my mind and soul so now i can stand" are, to me, the most poignant. because i wonder if maybe you're not calloused at all, just trained to appear that way.
i like the structure, the way the poem is very declarative of your forced manhood. i like the semi-rhyming scheme, too.
Anyone who doesnt cry is a liar. Even these supposed "men" you speak of here.
This was a good poem though, I was enjoying it, but there were too many inconsistencies and mistakes in the capitalizations and punctuations with it. Made it look like a novice to the school system typed it...or someone had the "lazy finger" syndrome going on and didnt want to put any effort into the 'Shift' key.
I'd suggest removing the exclamation mark at the end of the first line. It doesn't belong there. Combine the first two lines and the two after that. Much of the same can be done in the second stanza as well.
And now! in the beginning of the third to last stanza is an unneccesary line, for you state the "now"ness of the situation in lines two and three of that stanza as well.
Anyway, just some tips in order to make this better. Thanks for sharing.
I never really took the time to realize why boy/guys/men "never cry". I guess fathers thinks it shows some kind of weakness. WELL their thoughts are wrong! Just because girls/women cry, does not mean, we are weak. Actually, it shows that we are stronger. Strong enough to express our emotions.
There really isn't much for me to say other than to correct some spelling mistakes e.g:
I liked this after the first 2 stanzas. They felt like they were sort of out of place. I liked how they set the emotion, and the place though. I think that men/boys/guys crying does make them look weak, but I think that it shows others that they have a sensitive side to them, and that they aren't emtionless. I think that I might add this one to my favorites. GREAT WRITE!! ~Alyssa~
Submission Name: BoyS DoNT cRY
