Where the Cold Stream Ripples -------------------------------------------
When it seems that every way ya turn your head
The paper tells of another war and the people dead
Or when the TV's only showin' the hate in the streets
Or a starvin' child with nothin to eat
When the boss is naggin' and givin' you hell
And your mind's so tied up you ain't feelin' so well
When loneliness has got ya singin' the blues
And ya no longer care if ya win or lose
When your'e fed up and tired of life's busy race
Well you can find me off in a peaceful place
Where the cold stream ripples between your toes
Where the long grass waves and the flowers grow
Where the sun beams down from between the trees
And the squirrels run and play happy and free
Where the birds sing joyfully an endless song
Where there's noone to tell you what's right or wrong
No matter how many war's and disputes will rage
And how many games the politicians will stage
As long as Mother Nature lets the sun shine
I'll sit here with her and leave it all behind
This poem felt so real . . . . . . . kinda like I could see you turning the pages of the newspaper and the squrrels running free . . . . . . I don't really know how to explain it., but I liked it because I was thinking the same thoughts just the other day.
everyone needs their own escape for when life just gets too much...
i like the way you started this... the way you kinda piled one life crisis upon another... one depressing moment after another compacting them down making the write feel heavy and suffocating... it makes the rest of it so much more powerful...
your words feel like lyrics to me... this is the second piece of yours i have read and they both have felt lyrical to me... is that on purpose or am i making it up (which is quite possible...)
your escape... your place to hide from everything this world brings sounds glorious... it really does... when the heat is on you got yourself a cool stream with sunshine... it feels like a scene right from snow white or something though... squirrels and all...
but yeah... im torn over your useage of 'ya' but perhaps thats what gives your piece a more lyrical quality... anyways yup... another piece well done
"I know where you are coming from and can identify.---I assume you are a Bob Dylan fan, it shows in your proes. Dylan is one of the greatest poets of our time, a true wordsmith of the people. Your piece was well wrote and flowed like a song (was that your intent?) Will give your other material a look---Thanks for the write---Sincerely, Mugs----
Submission Name: Where the Cold Stream Ripples
