Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

A Child

Author: Je Vous Aime
Elite Ratio:    4.24 - 29 /14 /4
Words: 123
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 832
Average Vote:    5.0000
Bytes: 785


A Child

his eyes shine
with love and hope
but he doesn't know what this world
that is so dangerous
and beautiful
has in store for him


he has no idea
what is to become of him
and he had no choice in the matter
but then again
none of us did
and we love our life
most of the time
just as he shall
if GOD wills

because he will be set free
in this crazy world
not knowing who to trust
who to love
and who to savor
before they're gone

he's so innocent
without a clue
and I envy him
but at the same time
I pity him

Submitted on 2006-05-31 17:29:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  yooo dis is awsomely awsome
and true
was u looking at toxic slime when u rote dis?
| Posted on 2006-06-01 00:00:00 | by DaGrimReaperess | [ Reply to This ]
  This is so true
In this write you are describing how the Innocense of youth becomes corrupted by people
It is so sad but yet so true
How I wish I could have stayed a youth my Whole Life
I know thru experience how easily one can be led down the path of negativity
You wrote this very well
I look forward to reading more writes from you
God Bless

Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
Thank You
| Posted on 2006-05-31 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  Awsome it is really awsome
You know it is so true too. This kid you talk about he has no clue what's in store for him but yet he still goes


| Posted on 2006-07-01 00:00:00 | by BusterLILblock | [ Reply to This ]
  This is an interesting poem. I like the idea behind it.It is unique.
| Posted on 2006-06-11 00:00:00 | by Anti-Emo | [ Reply to This ]
  I really liked this poem. As I read it I pictured it being written for an innocent child, perhaps even a baby just born. Having wonder in its eyes and eager to grow up in the world. Maybe a parent writting this for the child knowing there are so many things in this world that can make them hurt and there's only so much a parent can do to protect. Overall it was very enjoyable to read, keep writing! :)

| Posted on 2006-06-16 00:00:00 | by my_worst_fear85 | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?