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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Blank eyesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Localfreak
    ASL Info:    37, Maybe, Here
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 131/123/76
    Words: 114
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 923
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 636



    Description:
       I tried to write a personal poem for a frind in a minute.. I failed miserably....
    So this is my one minute forty second poem.
    I've not revised or edited this, except for the correction of two spelling mistakes, so this is the real pen to paper draught.

    please be gentle with it...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBlank eyesdots
    -------------------------------------------



    They say they're empty,
    yet I can still see through,
    into the soul of one whom I love,
    of one who is so special and true,
    they say there is no feeling,
    yet can you not see the shine?
    Of a thousand twinkling angels behind those "blank eyes"

    I never knew such a creature,
    born on this mortal coil,
    with a heart so warm and open to you, and to one and all,
    but they say that they're empty,
    they do not understand,
    that the warmth of this beauties eyes is not,
    there to be seen by the blind...




    Submitted on 2006-05-31 20:37:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like this. I have some minor suggestions that shouldn't change the overall effect:

    They say they're empty
    yet I
    can still see through
    into the soul of one I love.

    one who is so special and true.

    they say there is no feeling
    yet can't you see the shine
    of a thousand twinkling angels
    behind blank eyes?

    I never knew a creature such,
    born on this mortal coil,
    with a heart so warm and open

    but they say that they're empty,
    they do not understand.

    the warmth of this beauty's eyes
    is not there to be seen
    by the blind...
    | Posted on 2006-06-01 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
      Thisis so true
    In this write I believe you are speaking of someone who is warm hearted and only has Love to share but they are turned away every time
    I can promise you your love is not in vain
    I guarantee you have touched the heart of someone
    Please remain Positive
    By the way
    I dont know if you know this but
    This Mortal Coil is the name of a band
    They are one of my favorite bands
    God Bless
    Ron

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-05-31 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]


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