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    dots Submission Name: Apple talkdots

    Author: Wolfe
    Elite Ratio:    4.64 - 62/94/25
    Words: 133
    Class/Type: Poetry/Satire
    Total Views: 1322
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1075

       My school has a server. The district has a disfunctional one. Observations of a Human Machine.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsApple talkdots

    Pinpricks of apple skin flash on
    and off
    and on again

    Glowing green like venom
    Like toxic waste
    A malicious stoplight
    On a road no longer traveled
    Blinking on
    And off
    And on again

    Can't you hear them?
    Sneering at us
    Little holes filled with the all-nothing
    The light
    Pinpricks of malevolence
    Blink on
    And off
    And on again

    Through an Amazon of blue cords
    Grotesquely vibrant
    In a world not ever meant to see
    Such story-book-vivid color
    Rotten stars
    Super novas
    Polka dots
    Hollow eyes of killers
    Blink on
    And off
    And on again

    Too quickly
    Too much
    A rapid convulsion of virtual requiem

    Server is crashing


    Damn you, Apple talk.

    Submitted on 2006-06-01 15:10:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Ha ha! That is really hilarious! I love satire, and you did it really well. The rhythm is flawless. I absolutely adore this. I can't comment on things I like. I just gush. So . . . *gush*.
    | Posted on 2006-06-01 00:00:00 | by HaldirLives | [ Reply to This ]
      *sight* i hate you. it was good, i know you can do better, you seemed to have a theme in the beginning but then it kinda deminishes after a while and it goes off on another track which... is a little confusesing. But other than that, o and you had a nice sequence of the on off on and on again, and then it changed, i dont know... but it just didnt seem to fit very well... i think if you wanted to change the sequence it would have been better to change the world like, life death, light dark, opposites like that or something. I liked it, not my fav, but its good!
    | Posted on 2006-06-02 00:00:00 | by Moonshadow | [ Reply to This ]

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