Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: thrustdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: GorgeousCorpse
    Elite Ratio:    4.23 - 19/17/9
    Words: 134
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 880
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 915



    Description:
       this one's a repost. it sounds kinda silly - stupid girl, sex and love aren't one and the same - the thing is though, we were already well into the relationship, already into the i love you stuff. i dunno, think what you will but i hope you enjoy it


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthrustdots
    -------------------------------------------


    it starts with a kiss
    a gentle peck, your lips closed on my lips
    and a mild embrace
    my arms 'round your neck, your hands on my hips
    passion ignites
    from a tiny spark a raging fire is brought about
    thrust our tongues into each other's mouths

    soon we are naked
    our hands hungrily exploring one another
    breathing hard
    writhing together underneath the covers
    you're desperate, i'm open
    we must become one, here and now, it feels so right
    thrust yourself inside with all your might

    passion explodes
    our energies collide in a supernova of emotion
    then subside
    like tides that turn and slink back into the ocean
    i say "i love you"
    you say "i know" and again my whole world falls apart
    thrust your knife once more into my heart




    Submitted on 2006-06-02 09:24:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I thought this was intense...I don't want to confuse you, but in regards to the above comments, I wouldn't change anything, each person can take from it what they will but it is only a cliché or an overused word to one person, to another it may be the perfect discription. To me it was real and raw and like I said intense...I love the last line, I am in a similar situation and i think you managed to express the unique ability some of us have, to have the passion, the love, the sex and the hurt all wrapped up in one moment. Thanks for the clarity I really enjoyed it ~Sunset
    | Posted on 2006-06-07 00:00:00 | by sunset | [ Reply to This ]
      This is one powerful write
    This Poem I believe has very little to do with the sexual act itself
    I believe you are referring more to how Sex is a brief interuption in a sad relationship that brings temporary bliss
    I couldnt agree more with you
    Though I am 37 I have never experienced Love as in a relationship and I dont think I ever will
    The biggest reason
    Is I have always believed Sex is meant to bring a life into thwe World and thats all
    God Bless
    Your Friend
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-06-14 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    105681

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry