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Bubble Wrap

Author: poetofthenight
ASL Info:    16, female
Elite Ratio:    4.92 - 315 /315 /151
Words: 182
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1689
Average Vote:    4.0000
Bytes: 1389


well, you see... there once was a girl who loved poetry.
then she stopped poetry-ing.
then she started again, and ideas formed.

just like that.

Bubble Wrap

I once believed in S. Morgenstern,
pink pearls and girlish bows
on clips in highlighted locks
of curly hair.

I once thought Leonardo was
merely a painter,
that Axel was still alive
and kickin'.

And once upon a dream I figured
that storm would pass,
that sun would peak,
but its shyness prevailed,
until now.

See, now the sun
plays hide and seek,
holding stomachs
growling of hunger
in odorous asphalt alleys,
two bars on my cell phone
and the damn battery's almost

Not darkness, just an atmospheric
But my lipstick's still red,
my heels high,
and there's more than waterproof
makeup that spoils the rain.

Can I run? Sure.
Will I?

Piano keys and Mr. Potato Heads,
a plastic world to feast on.
Pumps and hoochies hanging
on a moment,
or a corner off Main.
Vicodin capsules swiveling down
loos in London,
artists befriending beggars
as they search for meaning,
streets of striped thespians.
Charlie Chaplin never stood a chance.

Bonsoir et bonne chance, you bastard of a world.

Submitted on 2006-06-02 22:15:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  This is very, very well written! I like all of the different aspects of your feelings that you incorperated and impersonated using stationary objects. The addition of the poets' & artists' names also added to the streetwise "urban" feel of the poem. Great job on the sensory detail, too - it really allows the reader to step into the world of the writer. The only thing I would work on would be transitions. To me, each of the stanzas could stand as their own mini-poems, and therefore aren't connected/reliant enough on the others. Try adding in a reaccuring word or phrase to maybe tie things up, or even just rearrange the way you put the sections together. I like it, keep working!
| Posted on 2006-06-03 00:00:00 | by EclecticEntropy | [ Reply to This ]

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