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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Ridden with Defeatdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DiamondTears
    ASL Info:    16/F/Wa
    Elite Ratio:    3.36 - 61/97/48
    Words: 196
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 173
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1240



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRidden with Defeatdots
    -------------------------------------------


    A deep plunging feeling,
    A desperate look,
    Your spirit, Is something he awfully took,
    Your breathing is dying,
    Color is fading,
    This huge thing you call death,
    Is intimidating.
    I throw myself at your feet,
    Beg you, Its not over.
    But even then, I'm ridden with defeat.
    I run away from the blackness,
    Sit at the old well in the garden,
    And look down in hopelessness.
    I scream and it echo’s.
    This was never to be,
    But every time I think of you,
    Your stiff body is all I can see.
    The rain hides my tears;
    Ashamed of my face,
    Everything fades;
    My skin turns to black lace,
    There I stand looking at you again,
    When my dear, will this never end?
    But an eternity with out you,
    The rain clouds morn for you too,
    Forgive me my sister of soul,
    I did not die with you,
    Fear of the firry whole,
    It gapes and laughs.
    God save me, I miss you evermore,
    But even as I stand here,
    My heart is forever sore,
    Say you will watch from the scared eyes from above,
    Spare the hatred my sister,
    A blackened love.




    Submitted on 2006-06-03 01:32:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      The last line of this is powerful, the terminology of 'blackened love' hits home so hard. I found this piece dark and intense. Very well written, the imagery of lines such as 'my skin turns to black lace' leaves such a deep and depressing impression. I really enjoyed this piece~Sunset
    | Posted on 2006-06-05 00:00:00 | by sunset | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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