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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Dreams Don't Growdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 36
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1741
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 219



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Dreams Don't Growdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I water the flowers on my comforter
    hoping they'll grow into a garden of dreams,
    but the roses turn black and start to spit acid.
    They impale me on their thorns,
    and I wake up screaming.




    Submitted on 2006-06-03 12:21:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      bad seeds, bad dreams...the thorns make me wake up screaming...

    have you ever just awakened crying like all get out...and have no idea why? can't remember the dream that provoked it?

    this reminds me of that...your work also reminds me of lyn lyfshin....she uses pretty straightforward wording but twists the phrases to make it feel so fresh and vibrant.

    and you do it consistently.

    you are inspiring to read...

    there are so many poems on ES..that could be really good...but too much tweaking tends to stiffen them up...sometimes raw and natural is good..whether you tweak a lot or not much at all...your poems never feel forced...just au natural.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-05-26 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      wonderful read. I liked the imagery a lot.esp about the watering the roses on the comforter and the garden of dreams, the rest reminds me too much of whats going on in my life right now.
    | Posted on 2006-12-30 00:00:00 | by brokenmuse | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmmm, thought I had commented on this one before. I remember reading it (probably when i was travelling around) and reminding myself to avoid floral-patterned bedding.

    Seriously-I liked it a lot,--the "watering" of the comforter---with the hope of getting past this point--through dreams, and then the nightmarish turn that follows.

    I liked over all the word "comforter which means more than a bed covering the way I see it. So often we pray that sleep will take away the pain ,-that things will be brighter and more hopeful after some dream time. How cruel it is then when that pain is made even more fearsome by dreams that magnify our fears and loss.
    Another memorable haunting poem Amy

    Sally
    | Posted on 2006-10-23 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      I think my dreams grow, but sometimes they grow into something dark and twisted. I like your description, watering the flowers of your comforter, that's a really neat way of saying it. I like the originality of this piece, it's sort of a step away from the ordinary while still being a common subject. Very nice.

    --MagPi
    | Posted on 2006-06-03 00:00:00 | by Anticlownperson | [ Reply to This ]
      thats a pretty cool way to describe a nightmare.. and i quite like the way you've titled the poem as well. within these 5 lines you've managed to convey a feeling of hope and the destuction of that hope and then again, the begining of a better time.. thats pretty good.
    | Posted on 2006-06-03 00:00:00 | by Sanjhana | [ Reply to This ]
      This starts so sofly and delivcately it lulled me into a false sense of security. Peacefulness turning bitter and screaming out. The stuff of nightmares. Amy you are a wizard with words. So few say so much

    Love to ya

    Kate
    xxx
    | Posted on 2006-06-05 00:00:00 | by elephantasia | [ Reply to This ]
      DARRRRRRR! The bed is angry!
    I hate when that happens! I seldom ever dream but I do wet the bed a lot. Ooops, did I just say that?
    HA...just kidding, I dont wet the bed.


    This is very short. Has hints of peacefulness in it with the images of a soft comforter, roses, a garden and a bed...all sweet and soothing things. Then the thorns and acid and screaming are just a equal and non-forgettable.

    Short
    Maybe because peaceful sleep for you is all to short and restful sleep is few and far between...because of nightmares.

    Anyway, just what I get from your piece.
    Good write...now think about laying down in a pure white room and all you can see is a white wall and one electrical socket on it. Just stare at the electrical socket.

    *snore, snore*
    | Posted on 2006-06-03 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      Amazing how you've managed to use so few lines to describe the intense process of dreaming...

    I love the concept of trying to control the content of your dreams but as we all know... there's not much we can do once we're off to dreamland and every now and then the dreams turn ugly.

    Very well written!
    | Posted on 2006-06-03 00:00:00 | by Beulah | [ Reply to This ]
      this is crisp and concise, Amy. it's creepy to think of the roses on the comforter turning black, spitting acid and being impaled on the thorns. what a visual! i've suffered from nightfrights since i was a kid, so i could relate all too well with this.

    once again you've used minimal language to vividly describe an experience. my hat is off to you, Amy!

    love,
    ~Cat
    | Posted on 2006-06-04 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this could of been alot longer? But I like what your wrote! This was scarry and yet child like inacence. Keep it up and I hope your dreams get better?
    Kelley Frost
    | Posted on 2006-06-06 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked this alot.. short and sweet and to the point.. of cource it would be about a dream when you are watering the roses on your comforter.. I like that you wrote about the thorns as well as the wished for roses...
    | Posted on 2006-06-09 00:00:00 | by mimi | [ Reply to This ]
      I get the feeling you are trying to make something out of nothing at all. You want to produce a heatlhy feeling or experience yet, you have a false idea of how things should be and how they are. This was a trippy dream Amy. I liked the briefness and the wording. Way to go Amy!

    Catrina
    | Posted on 2006-06-16 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the way the sweet, dreamy thoughts turned into a nightmare. I've always wanted to do a piece on some fairy-tale-gone-wrong, and here you managed to do it, and in so few lines too. :)
    | Posted on 2006-07-04 00:00:00 | by Maverique | [ Reply to This ]
      I water the flowers on my comforter
    hoping they'll grow into a garden of dreams
    but the roses turn black and start to spit acid
    they impale me on their thorns
    and I wake up screaming


    Ahhh grasshopper! If I would say anything about this, the clue to the koan is in the first line. There is no comfort and staying in a comfort zone for too long doesn't make one's garden of dreams
    grow.

    It's concise and tight and I always enjoy that about your work. Most of the work has a very broad openness we might interpret in many ways and I love that. Thanks for sharing,

    Nan
    | Posted on 2006-06-16 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      Cool, few lines, easy to interpret, but have a nice selection on words. Its really a nice works. When we put efforts, we hope that we'll get a good result, but somehow we et the opposite. I know your feeling i have been that way one or twice.
    I like the word "Garden of Dream" that must be your greatest dream. I also like the way you combine implae and thron on "they impale me on their thorns"

    Overall its a nice and great work, keep it up. I hope you never give up your dream.

    Take care!

    -garnet4david-
    | Posted on 2006-06-04 00:00:00 | by garnet4david | [ Reply to This ]
      I've been having some weird dreams the past few nights so my dreams are not growing either! LoL I really like the idea of this. The symbolism for the flowers on your comforter and your future. Then having them "impale" you, that's powerful, yet simple. I really enjoyed this. :) I hope you are doing well.

    Take care!

    --blt
    | Posted on 2006-06-03 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]


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