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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: the dark og my eyesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: chilz
    ASL Info:    20/F/WA
    Elite Ratio:    3.89 - 137/147/84
    Words: 95
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 177
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 553



    Description:
       another high school clique poem...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe dark og my eyesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    living in the dark of my eyes, you haunt me
    from different worlds, different tables, glances are exchanged
    only smiles and looks, looks of undiscovered love
    the girls you love dont match me
    their clothes contrast mine
    maybe later we can know eachother
    after this masquerade dance we attend is through
    maybe then i can hold you in my arms
    but for now all we can do is look and smile
    i may not be able to have you with my physicall being
    but i can still hold you in the dark of my eyes




    Submitted on 2006-06-03 14:32:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    4: Pretty cool
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    ||| Comments |||
      I'm not sure of the way this should be taken.
    to me it sounds more perverse than romantic.
    I find a distinct lack of imagery too, the line "looks of undiscovered love" seems so, blatant I believe it could have been said in a much more suggestive manner.

    I'm not sure of the setting either, we have a sitting affair which , to me, feels like a speed dating area then it is changed to a masquerade dance, as though all thought was lost and the writer was desperate to use a more romantic setting.

    I enjoyued the lines after"maybe later" but the first few seemed like a different poem entirely!
    | Posted on 2006-06-03 00:00:00 | by Localfreak | [ Reply to This ]
      Oooooo...the lust of wanting "the strange".
    Not a bad write and there are a few words spelled incorrectly (sorry, I knew I could have said that with less words, but I am kinda buzzed and dont know if I can spell misspelled right. )

    Different from all the other teen/high school writes on here.
    | Posted on 2006-06-03 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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