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    dots Submission Name: Monopoly!dots

    Author: Metal Heart74
    Elite Ratio:    5.12 - 72/61/17
    Words: 190
    Class/Type: Poetry/Happy
    Total Views: 1129
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1103

       I wanted to write apoem about monopoly, I have no idea why

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Silence as two cubes glide through the air
    Silence broken as they descend to the cardboard wasteland - How Colorful It Is!
    A metal shoe too small for size, a small pupdog - gleam in his eye
    Shake with the impact, but move not an inch
    1 dot and 3 face the sky
    A top hat glides forth four spaces
    A symbol of awkwardness
    squiggle and dot
    Wind is stirred as it descends from the sky
    A glorius rectangle - with a symbol the same
    rises hovers and falls
    Paper flutters through the sky, Bright Orange! Sickly Green.
    A race with no finish
    As the houses amass and hotels charge
    Paper of glorious colors flutters in the sky
    Rectangles ascend to the heavens
    come crashing back down
    Dotted Cubes pierce the sky
    Carboard wasteland shakes with impacting die
    A queer race, without a finish
    A square circle, a reactrack around, with colors and houses quite abound
    This is a world known to all
    Monopoly! Where on must take it or fall!

    Submitted on 2006-06-03 23:45:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Hee hee. This was so unique. No body writes a poem about a game, and now I don't know why. This turned out great. I don't know what you could change, except perhaps, making the pattern of rhymes similar throughout the poem. YOu used powerful words to create remarkable descriptions. Good Job. I would like if you took a look at a poem of mine. Thanks

    | Posted on 2006-06-04 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]
      I absolutely love the fact that you wrote a poem about Monopoly! However, it doesn't totally work. The rhythm is off, especially in the first half, and your descriptions aren't terribly imaginative. I also don't think there is a strong voice behind it. Tweak it. I love the premise.
    | Posted on 2006-06-03 00:00:00 | by HaldirLives | [ Reply to This ]

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