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Hypnotised


Author: biffy2006
ASL Info:    18/f/N.I
Elite Ratio:    1.64 - 25 /16 /9
Words: 104
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 922
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 582



Description:




Hypnotised



i sat on my bed and stared at the wall
just sitting there thinking about nothing at all
i thought and i thought
about what i dont know
but i wasnt distraught and id nothing to show
pictures and colours poured through my head
i heard nothing but breathing
to the world i was dead
that spot on my wall had hypnotised me there was nothing else there it was all i could see
nothing existed outside of my room i owned a world with no pain or gloom
i sat there so utterly free nobody was calling or expecting from me




Submitted on 2006-06-04 20:26:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Pretty decent write you got here. I enjoyed this. The only thing I suggest you change is the format. Those long lines made the write looked unorganised maybe you could take your hand at this again and correct those I believe it would add so much more to the write.

Oh and let me take the chance to welcome you to ES (EliteSkills) and I hope your stay here it as pleasant and as wonderful as mine as been thus far.

Keep up the good work
and take care
Later
Jason
| Posted on 2006-06-04 00:00:00 | by Departed One | [ Reply to This ]
  I love it. Some things I would have changed, but that's me this is your work and actually shows your personality in it. So, that makes it truely original.


~bianca
| Posted on 2006-06-05 00:00:00 | by bmc | [ Reply to This ]


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