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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Body Dysmorphic Disorderdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: elephantasia
    ASL Info:    37/F/UK
    Elite Ratio:    3.54 - 398/490/159
    Words: 228
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 808
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1440



    Description:
       Body Dysmorphic Disorder is a psychological disorder where people obsess about a imaginery or minor defect in their appearance.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBody Dysmorphic Disorderdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Mirror, Mirror on the wall
    Who is the ugliest of them all?

    Sticks and stones can break my bones
    but words...

    words can be like a thousand hot needles
    thrust into my heart and
    twisted into a knot of hot thoughts
    that burn my temple of esteem to the ground.

    Sleighting comments smite me.
    Remarks slip softly from lips,
    drip corrosive acid ino my soul
    and weave holes in my wholeness.

    An innocent comment
    can be as delicate as the flap of a butterfly's wing
    yet can start an avalanche of pain.
    Let's replay the old movies again and get the hankies out.

    If I get any closer to the mirror
    I could fall in.
    Like Alice through the looking glass
    climbing into a world of illusions,
    distortions of reality
    stare back at me
    and I am shattered.

    Help me pick up the pieces.

    You see a molehill and laugh.
    I hear your laughter thundering in my ears
    and I tumble down a mountain.
    Do you even know how long it takes to climb up again?

    It's merely a miniscule mutation, isn't it?
    Please assure me it is
    even if I ask you a thousand times a day
    even if I never believe your answer
    even if you hate me for asking.

    Hide the spoons...




    Submitted on 2006-06-05 06:06:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I realy liked the use of childhood rhymes. This is a very guttsy piece. Alot of power in it. Life can be cruel, and the mirror immage weather a physical one or an inward reflection, can be equaly disturbing. Good work!!

    Bonnie
    | Posted on 2006-07-30 00:00:00 | by wildflower | [ Reply to This ]
      This piece really struck me as something that was meant to be read aloud or even performed. The flow in each stanza is beautiful, and the words all hold such profound meaning for the reader and for the poet. The last line intrugued me, as did the introduction. To me, it was like you were setting up the reader to believe that they were going to read some borring cliché-ridden teenage-angsty poem and then totally went off in the opposite direction, leaving the reader breathless and wanting more. I like this, even though it isn't usually my style. Excellent job

    EE
    | Posted on 2006-06-05 00:00:00 | by EclecticEntropy | [ Reply to This ]
      Strong images! One senses the pain (real or imagined) that is endured. I love the closing line,
    "Hide the spoons". I take it to mean, to avoid reflection. Here are a few suggestions.

    S2 - I think it should be "stones".

    S4 - It should be "Slighting". Change "slipping" to "slip" and "weaving" to "weave".

    I think this is well written. It deals with a topic that would have been difficult to write about and yet you've made an excellent poem of it.

    Phil
    | Posted on 2006-06-06 00:00:00 | by phil askew | [ Reply to This ]
      This is an extremely powerful piece
    You woke up some eyes as to how dreadful life is with not only this disiease but also how hard it is for someone to have to regroup from years of abuse by being told how imperfect they are
    You did a fantastic job with this
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-06-05 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      HIde the spoons, HA! Many different ways that line can be taken. Good job in ending it that way.

    I think I used to have this disorder. But then I looked into getting penal implants and said, "SCREW THAT! Its too expensive!"
    Hee-hee! Just being a dork.



    It is too bad that people obsess about the way they look and too bad that our society pushes that through the media. I mean...the "bowflex" they built five years ago apparently isnt good enough anymore...now you need the new and improved bowflex...otherwise people will laugh at you. Just little stuff like that.

    Insightful lil write you got here. Thanks for sharing and remember...its o.k. to laugh at the mirror too.

    | Posted on 2006-06-05 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]


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