Description: My sister and I are so close. She just graduated and is going off to college in the fall. How will I face highschool again without her?
Sissy -------------------------------------------
I love you sissy
I'll miss you so
I wish so much
you wouldn't grow
who will I have
to laugh with me
to count the stars
and swim the sea
and when I hurt
who's there to hear
and when I cry
I hope you're near
my love is pain
and I don't know
how I'll handle this love
when you go
we confessed to him
the lovely moon
that I was sad
You'd leave me soon
to start a life
in an world less wild
as you leave behind
the former child
you've always known
you're my best friend
but our chapter in life
is at an end.
I love you.
Wonderful tribute to a sister, and a really great rhyming poem with good structure and meter. You may want to start separating stanzas and punctuating, as, if you ever submit a manuscript for publishing, that is the first thing they'll ask for, and it's a lot of work to have to go in and punctuate an entire manuscript!
Your work is excellent! You have a developing talent that is delightful!
This is beautifully done and quite lovely and so ... sisterly! short rhymed lines work well here ... (suggestions: as I suspect there will be several more "chapters" in the lives of you and your sister you might want to change "our chapter" at the end of the poem to "a chapter" or "one chapter".... ) bravo ... bravo ... bravo ...
awwww this hits close to me.
i am the older sister graduating this year and going to college, and i am sad to be leaving my sister behind
though like the person below says
look at it as a new beginning
she can share her college stories with you
which you can return once you get there
and you can share your high school experiences, which she can relate to you with of her own
<3
This is really sad However Do not look at this as the end look at it as a new begining Of Course your sister will never forget your Love Going off to College she will be bettering herself and Im almost willing to bet you are going to be going to the same college as her in a few years I can definately feel the Love you and your sister share I have a handicapped and retarded sister(I HATE THAT WORD) Who is full of love and Who I love dearly I know exactly of the bond you speak of Very Good Write!!! God Bless Ron
Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think Thank You Ron
touching, Me and my sister are 4 years apart (thats a big enough gap) so I can only try to imagine how sad this must be, but the poem conveys that so well. what a talent! Michael
My sister and I were very close, until she left for college. Now it's like she's a stranger to me when she comes and visits us. Anyways, I love your poem, and it makes me want to cry my eyes out.
Submission Name: Sissy
