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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sissydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: The Conqueror
    ASL Info:    21/female/Missouri
    Elite Ratio:    3.48 - 178/204/42
    Words: 115
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1350
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 764



    Description:
       My sister and I are so close. She just graduated and is going off to college in the fall. How will I face highschool again without her?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSissydots
    -------------------------------------------


    I love you sissy
    I'll miss you so
    I wish so much
    you wouldn't grow
    who will I have
    to laugh with me
    to count the stars
    and swim the sea
    and when I hurt
    who's there to hear
    and when I cry
    I hope you're near
    my love is pain
    and I don't know
    how I'll handle this love
    when you go
    we confessed to him
    the lovely moon
    that I was sad
    You'd leave me soon
    to start a life
    in an world less wild
    as you leave behind
    the former child
    you've always known
    you're my best friend
    but our chapter in life
    is at an end.
    I love you.




    Submitted on 2006-06-05 12:14:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Wonderful tribute to a sister, and a really great rhyming poem with good structure and meter. You may want to start separating stanzas and punctuating, as, if you ever submit a manuscript for publishing, that is the first thing they'll ask for, and it's a lot of work to have to go in and punctuate an entire manuscript!

    Your work is excellent! You have a developing talent that is delightful!
    | Posted on 2008-01-14 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      fun time........................its just a pack of listless words .


    sunny skies and warm weather is the forcast for today


    ocean sand
    | Posted on 2007-05-08 00:00:00 | by temporal nights | [ Reply to This ]
      This is beautifully done and quite lovely and so ... sisterly! short rhymed lines work well here ... (suggestions: as I suspect there will be several more "chapters" in the lives of you and your sister you might want to change "our chapter" at the end of the poem to "a chapter" or "one chapter".... ) bravo ... bravo ... bravo ...
    | Posted on 2007-04-11 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
      awwww this hits close to me.
    i am the older sister graduating this year and going to college, and i am sad to be leaving my sister behind
    though like the person below says
    look at it as a new beginning
    she can share her college stories with you
    which you can return once you get there
    and you can share your high school experiences, which she can relate to you with of her own
    <3
    | Posted on 2007-04-10 00:00:00 | by andnow | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really sad
    However
    Do not look at this as the end look at it as a new begining
    Of Course your sister will never forget your Love
    Going off to College she will be bettering herself and Im almost willing to bet you are going to be going to the same college as her in a few years
    I can definately feel the Love you and your sister share
    I have a handicapped and retarded sister(I HATE THAT WORD)
    Who is full of love and Who I love dearly
    I know exactly of the bond you speak of
    Very Good Write!!!
    God Bless
    Ron

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-07-07 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      'Sisterly' love is a special kind of love and this comes through very clearly in your write.

    I have three sisters and they also are very close.....it is nice to see.

    It is a long time time to 'Fall', so make the most of that time. And remember she will not be that far away and it will not be forever !

    I enjoyed reading this.

    Frank.
    | Posted on 2006-06-06 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      touching, Me and my sister are 4 years apart (thats a big enough gap) so I can only try to imagine how sad this must be, but the poem conveys that so well. what a talent!
    Michael
    | Posted on 2006-08-26 00:00:00 | by The Wise Fool | [ Reply to This ]
      My sister and I were very close, until she left for college. Now it's like she's a stranger to me when she comes and visits us. Anyways, I love your poem, and it makes me want to cry my eyes out.
    | Posted on 2006-06-27 00:00:00 | by PiperH | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey that is a really neat poem. I like it.
    | Posted on 2006-06-10 00:00:00 | by bgmullet | [ Reply to This ]


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