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    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Scarreddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ladyphoenix
    Elite Ratio:    5.15 - 2/1/2
    Words: 71
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 752
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 444



    Description:
       poetry


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsScarreddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Shattered bones, bruised faces.
    Crying in the darkness hoping for someone to hear.
    All of them wanting the pain to stop, ending the fear.
    Raising their hands to protect their already battered faces.
    Reaching out trying to rise above all the insults and abuse.
    Emerging from the pain to find a woman standing to help them.
    Drawing on the strength from her past she reaches out to help heal another scar.




    Submitted on 2006-06-05 12:23:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I liked this, it gives the reader some thinking room which is always an interesting and challenging read. My only concern here is the ending; I feel it is a little weak and a bit to vague. Give maybe a little forshadowing like footsteps coming closer or maybe just a little more detail about the woman since that is what the climax of the piece is based around.

    kudos
    -jarrett
    | Posted on 2006-06-05 00:00:00 | by awasteoftime | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey... I read this and nearly cried.... I know exactly where you're comin' from... thanx for joining, we need people like you here... keep writing with that emotion and form!!!!
    | Posted on 2006-06-08 00:00:00 | by cyco_chic | [ Reply to This ]


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