Description: Ok, emo again, sorry. This is about one of my best friends, shits happening right now wit her, if you want more info just read my journal titled Oh shit fuck. I tried not making it clichéd, tell me what you ppl think.
Bleeding You Away -------------------------------------------
A spattered corpse lies down in silent death,
the aftermath of vicious deceit.
Your eyes sewn shut,
they never saw my suicidal disease.
Memory scars on pallid skin
from the tentacles of your sadistic infection.
injects me with
razor blade lust.
blood-soaked skin of razor amputation,
There is no cure.
I'm infested with you.
No vaccine for this contagion.
as I cut you out,
carve your image out of my veins.
Head throbbing with anguish
as I slowly bleed you out of my life.
I liked your emo poems, different writing styles will open a person's mind...and you don't suck man, you rock.
Parasitic soul seduction injects me with razor blade lust.
That was like my favorite stanza there because, it's extremely dark and I really liike the word parasitic lol. I don't think this is cliché'd at all...except for the cutting part, but, hey, that's always gonna be a cliché'd subject. This was real nice.
I'm right with toxic, I love your emo poems, everyone has some emo in them, whether they'd like to admit it or not. awww thnx for the reference in it hun gawd with all this hit going on right now with me that means alot whether you intended for it to or not. I did like this one, there was a darker sense to this one but I felt something else, not exactly whining just like the whole "weight of my decisions" kinda deal. sorry about ur friend hun, maybe she didn't mean it? ;) *hints something but shuts up* good stuff, and yay ur story is up:) love ya, ~jess
Like the first person who commented said, there is too much suicide in it! But anyways, it is a main subject in the poem! I usually don't like these type of poems, but I have to say, I loved your way with words, specially when you write "Parasitic soul seduction injects me with razor blade lust." That was.... I can't even describe it! Great lines, awesome poem - but I still don't like the suicide stuff!
it isn't ur best one. but it was ok. work a litle harder on putting fear into it and drawing the reader in. making the reader expect something then going were the reader expected the least, woul have really helped.