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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Bleeding You Awaydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Faith_Disease
    ASL Info:    17/M
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 278/141/29
    Words: 102
    Class/Type: Poetry/Cutting or Mutilation
    Total Views: 1137
    Average Vote:    1.0000
    Bytes: 782



    Description:
       Ok, emo again, sorry. This is about one of my best friends, shits happening right now wit her, if you want more info just read my journal titled Oh shit fuck. I tried not making it clichéd, tell me what you ppl think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBleeding You Awaydots
    -------------------------------------------


    A spattered corpse lies down in silent death,
    the aftermath of vicious deceit.
    Your eyes sewn shut,
    they never saw my suicidal disease.
    Memory scars on pallid skin
    from the tentacles of your sadistic infection.

    Parasitic
    soul seduction
    injects me with
    razor blade lust.

    Filthy virus,
    vermin crawling,
    locust squirming,
    diseased veins.
    blood-soaked skin of razor amputation,
    holy tears.
    There is no cure.

    I'm infested with you.
    No vaccine for this contagion.
    Symptoms visible
    as I cut you out,
    carve your image out of my veins.
    Head throbbing with anguish
    as I slowly bleed you out of my life.




    Submitted on 2006-06-05 20:20:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      [censored]in emo!!!!! u suck I cant believe you are writing emo poems now arrrgh!!! well is was visual no doubt about that and it had an alright flow the there was too much suicide in it.
    | Posted on 2006-06-05 00:00:00 | by Harmageddon | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked your emo poems, different writing styles will open a person's mind...and you don't suck man, you rock.

    Parasitic
    soul seduction
    injects me with
    razor blade lust.

    That was like my favorite stanza there because, it's extremely dark and I really liike the word parasitic lol. I don't think this is cliché'd at all...except for the cutting part, but, hey, that's always gonna be a cliché'd subject. This was real nice.

    *toxic*
    | Posted on 2006-06-05 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      That is gorgeous.
    The descriptions are awesome.
    I love the way you word things.
    I would normally point out my favorite part, but I love the whole thing.
    What else can I say? Great job



    lol cow

    Byee

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2006-06-10 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm right with toxic, I love your emo poems, everyone has some emo in them, whether they'd like to admit it or not. awww thnx for the reference in it hun gawd with all this hit going on right now with me that means alot whether you intended for it to or not. I did like this one, there was a darker sense to this one but I felt something else, not exactly whining just like the whole "weight of my decisions" kinda deal. sorry about ur friend hun, maybe she didn't mean it? ;) *hints something but shuts up*
    good stuff, and yay ur story is up:)
    love ya,
    ~jess
    | Posted on 2006-06-08 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      Like the first person who commented said, there is too much suicide in it! But anyways, it is a main subject in the poem! I usually don't like these type of poems, but I have to say, I loved your way with words, specially when you write "Parasitic
    soul seduction
    injects me with
    razor blade lust."
    That was.... I can't even describe it! Great lines, awesome poem - but I still don't like the suicide stuff!
    | Posted on 2006-06-28 00:00:00 | by April0414 | [ Reply to This ]
      it isn't ur best one. but it was ok. work a litle harder on putting fear into it and drawing the reader in. making the reader expect something then going were the reader expected the least, woul have really helped.
    | Posted on 2006-07-06 00:00:00 | by His goth child | [ Reply to This ]


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