[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: To Ignorancedots

    Author: Jester_Gesture
    ASL Info:    23/f
    Elite Ratio:    3.41 - 365/459/201
    Words: 153
    Class/Type: Poetry/Happy
    Total Views: 951
    Average Vote:    4.3333
    Bytes: 957

       So my teacher for Honors English was in a semi-bad mood so she decided to make us write ~gasp~ structured poetry. I dedicate this to the class of 2006. [the class above me. people keep saying 'congratulations on graduating!' to me even though I have an entire year left.]

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTo Ignorancedots

    Here lies the end of my glimpsed childhood,
    of running through mud puddles, of baby dolls.
    Here, at the brink of my long awaited womanhood,
    facing a metropolis of grown up walls.
    To ignore the ticking clock and its threatened pain,
    I put my hair in pigtails and stare out at the rain.

    Here, people take action without warning.
    They dance and drink all through the night.
    Here, fighting the brilliant edge of morning,
    living only in the starlit hours of twilight.
    To ignore consequences when the sun comes up,
    they make a pot of coffee and drink four cups.

    But where is the balance between child and woman?
    Does young always lose, does old always win?
    Where is the moment that Iíll know when
    to shove one thing out and hold another in?
    To ignore the question taking over my mind,
    I let my hair down and run outside.

    Submitted on 2006-06-05 23:55:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I really liked this piece, it's really funny that you wrote this, I was looking at my 2 year old daughter the other day and thinking about when I strayed off the path of adolescence onto the highway of adult life. It is so much fun to travel off of the highway again, I guess I just needed a guide to show me the way.
    Great write,
    | Posted on 2007-09-25 00:00:00 | by Spin | [ Reply to This ]
      Love it! I like the rhyme scheme the best, it makes everything flow really well. I also like the whole concept with the hair and running outside.
    | Posted on 2006-11-16 00:00:00 | by Two Meters Away | [ Reply to This ]
      So what exactly is the structure of this poem? Is it just some arbitrary rhyme scheme that your morose teacher gave you, or is it an established foundation? In any event, it's good. Sublime, really.
    You definitely captured the weird, awkward nocturnal nature of adolescence, a transition to adulthood within the shroud of darkness- and yet the desire to remain young, to live in the bright day, it wins out in the end. And I think you really drive that home, as you blanket every phase of life with that repeated mechanism of ignoring- to be young is to be somewhat naive. I think. But I ramble.

    I read your sonnet again. Even if you don't like it much, it's still amazing.
    | Posted on 2006-06-06 00:00:00 | by Aaron Felix | [ Reply to This ]
      I have a year left...before i graduate. Congrats to you, this poem was cool.
    | Posted on 2006-06-17 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey this was a really cool poem. agreeing with silverfragment the hair metaphor is the key to this... however when we all get older and have children etc. won't we see them as winners and probably call the 'oldies' the losers. perhaps in fact there are'nt any of either.......... its just life
    Congratulations on Graduating :)

    | Posted on 2006-06-06 00:00:00 | by hammyj | [ Reply to This ]
      This piece is really cool. I love the idea of lost youth, lost childhood, lost innocense. It's like, growing up means pushing out all the childhood fun. But,you know, it doesn't have to be that way:)

    Anywhoo, about your poem. I loved this line

    "facing a metropolis of grown up walls."

    I liked the idea of "grown up walls" because so many people when there older, and as I get older this seems to be more and more true, that doors keep shuting to your life instead of opening. It's like every year a few doors open, most leading to responsibilities, and the doors that were made just for fun get shut harshly without previous word.

    Really great job,
    | Posted on 2006-06-06 00:00:00 | by Glassy Eyed | [ Reply to This ]
      Really neat poem! I've been thinking a lot lately about growing up and what it means.. where does a childhood ends and womanhood begins. I think you've captured that feeling just right. I especially like the hair metaphor. :)
    | Posted on 2006-06-06 00:00:00 | by silverfragment | [ Reply to This ]
      I soppose the realization comes when you are on a rocking chair sitting on a porch. No not at all,for the mountain that needs to be climbed, can only be accomplished by the others left behind. It's good to put these under our belt, that is how we are defined. It is what we have in our mind. I loved your transition of adolence to womanhood, and the fears of what may be left behind. It's like where am I now, If I am neither. A friend of mine has a saying, trust me on this,it's (no matter where you go there you are) silly but true. Once again your poetry is true kept me happy the whole way through. True, not issues I know much about. None the less I am a bit less clueless as to the transiations others go through. Oh yes, I could see why others would be saying congratulations. For you did well on this write up, of poetry.
    small ps: one similar to this is Awakings, also about a transiation. I know my spelling is bad.

    Sincerly Gannondalf aka Big Bear
    | Posted on 2006-06-24 00:00:00 | by Gannondalf | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a really good one you wrote, I love it! I love the way you captured the adolesance and transforming into a woman. This poem makes so much sense by what the world is today. Keep up the good work with awsome poems like this.

    | Posted on 2006-06-07 00:00:00 | by Darkestlove | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]