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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Road to Perditiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Colten
    ASL Info:    19/Man?lol/U of I
    Elite Ratio:    3.05 - 62/99/43
    Words: 309
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 813
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2037



    Description:
       This is a true story. The pain and all.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Road to Perditiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    I was driving home the other day,
    When I found him.

    The Groundhog.

    He was lying in the middle of the road,
    Part way into town.

    I never expected to see him,
    Or anything for that matter.
    I guess that is why he affected me so much.

    I was driving alone,
    Barely into town when I saw his body.

    Such a mangled mess.

    Blood had begun to congeal and pool around him.

    The area of his thoracic vertabrae,
    On his back,
    Was crushed inward.

    And essence of life drips down his maw.

    Together, these wounds of the flesh,
    Should have killed him.

    But...

    He was not dead.

    As I drove up close to the pitiful creature,
    His head rose,
    And our eyes met.

    In that instant,
    As I drove around the dying animal,
    I witnessed his pain, his torment, and his agony.

    In that instant,
    The mind of man and beast were one.
    His need was my need,
    For help.

    But I didn't know what to do:

    Should I stop?
    Instead I kept going.

    Should I call someone for help?
    Instead I kept going.

    No...I did nothing but remember...
    And cry.

    Tears cascaded from my face,
    As I knew they fell from his.

    I feel sickened by my lack of action now.
    It makes me want to vomit.
    But I have to wonder:
    What could I have done?

    He is dead now.
    He has ceased to cry.

    Yet...

    I am also dead.
    On the inside.
    However,
    I will never stop crying because of what I did.
    Everytime I close my eyes,
    I will meet his.

    For eternity,
    I will suffer my lack of decision.
    Always wondering:
    What could I have done?







    Submitted on 2006-06-06 10:58:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      It was just a groundhog. You don't have to cry over a groundhog. It's just an animal. What you need to do I light a blunt and relax. I did think the poem was good, though. Other than the fact that it was just a groundhog, I thought it was good. The flow was good, and you expressed yourself so that I could see your sadness. Smoke weed.
    | Posted on 2006-06-06 00:00:00 | by dude90998 | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm sorry hun. There are times when we have to face what we would rather not. Perhaps it is best to remember that everyone and everything will have it's last breath and final journey. If you had touched it, and it was sick, you would have gained the illness, we both know that.

    Now, to the poem. It was good, but more broken up then needed. You should probably have kept the same structural intent through the whole thing. Other then that, it was good.

    Cheers,
    ~Sephe~
    | Posted on 2006-06-06 00:00:00 | by Persephone | [ Reply to This ]


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