what makes me feel warm
what makes me feel sad
what makes me so happy
is what makes me so mad
true love in our hearts
so young and so true
so it broke me when u said
we're over..we're through
but then again i should've know
it'd happen one day
but you were here for so long
i thought that you'd stay
but now your back again
i knew you'd be back
hey your a butterfly
so i'll cut u some slack
we were born to be toghter
as lovers and friends
so now that your here
it all can began.....
| I found not very much rhyme in this poem. It had good flow although there was not much rhyme.|
Your topic for the poem was good. I enjoyed how you developed your poem from stanza to stanza. Did you know that four line stanzas are known as quatrains. A quatrain can be defined as a stanza of four lines with one having alternate rhymes.
All in all I enjoyed reading it.
|| Posted on 2006-06-06 00:00:00 | by usglen | [ Reply to This ] || hey your a butterfly you're instead of you are... |
the on ;y thing I observed that need changing.. the flow was good and to the point.. hope he read this and enjoyed it...
|| Posted on 2006-06-06 00:00:00 | by mimi | [ Reply to This ] || I like it, I think its cool, nice and sweet.|
I even like the butterfly because I can relate.
being somewhat of a free spirit myself.
keep'em comming untill I read you again.
The Poor Man's Poet.
|| Posted on 2006-06-06 00:00:00 | by Bobby K | [ Reply to This ] || I didn't get a lot of things in this poem, one being the butterfly reference, but i'm guessing that's something between you and your friend...anyways, this line in with the rest of the stanza doesn't make sense to me...|
"i thought that you'd take"
Other then that this seemed very sweet, and I hope your friend's seen this...
|| Posted on 2006-06-06 00:00:00 | by Glassy Eyed | [ Reply to This ] || now who's the damm softie??!!! ur losing ur pimp status babe. keep falling in love and i might have to take ur license to pimp away from u||| Posted on 2006-06-07 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ] |