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    dots Submission Name: How do I tell you?dots

    Author: daughterofdeath
    ASL Info:    23/Female/West Virginia
    Elite Ratio:    4.68 - 277/293/232
    Words: 82
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 964
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 537


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHow do I tell you?dots

    How can I tell you
    how much I love you?
    How can I tell you
    that your smile
    send sparks
    in my chest.
    Your touch
    send shivers
    down my spine.
    How do I tell you
    that your eyes
    two perfect
    shining pools of love
    is what I wish to see.
    Your voice
    the sound of the gods
    coming closer.
    Your laugh
    playing over and over
    in my head.
    How do I tell you
    that I love you?

    Submitted on 2006-06-08 11:02:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i love the unrestrained feeling in this poem, and the short lines that trickle down the page like water, this poem made me think of sunshine and angels however stupid that sounds!! the only crititism was that it needs to be re read with the slight mistakes corrected "your eyes... is what i wish to see" "tell you....you eyes" not that this is a bad comment at all, i liked the "shining pools of love" image as i have often thought that about my boyfriends eyes strangely enough. i really really REALLY identified with this poem as i have felt this way for over three years since i got together with my boyfriend, i hope you and this person either get it together, or if you are together, stay together forever, i hope he feels the same way. regarding the slight mistakes, they only prove the unrestrained heart and emotion that created the poem and i hope you didn't mind me pointing them out. take carexxx Freeangel
    | Posted on 2006-06-08 00:00:00 | by freeangel | [ Reply to This ]
      Aw, I like the first lines are the same as the last lines, good repetition. Well, you made a few spelling mistakes; you kept putting "you" instead of "your." The "shivers down my spine" part was kind of corny, but still. I loved it. It really easy to read and it asked a question that's so commonly asked but can never be answered.
    | Posted on 2006-06-08 00:00:00 | by DrunkOnShadows | [ Reply to This ]

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