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the club for girls like me

Author: EEKS
Elite Ratio:    2.7 - 647 /1206 /773
Words: 217
Class/Type: Poetry /Angst
Total Views: 945
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1346


the club for girls like me

turn the volume down, and fade out
leaving only blank and bleak silence
i could call the convenient friends
the ones who don't care enough to leave
hating takes effort
and besides, they like my shoes
but i'd rather read those books that make me feel
less than human ,and so unworthy
but they give me great ideas

i could write a billion cliché love songs
that they'd play all the time on MTV
and i could dance and sing along
and pretend that girl was me
but id rather sit here, still and silent
and write something no one will approve of
writing about what i know
and what i know is lonely girls
and lying, and crying, and caring in the privacy of your room
i dont care if people say its angsty
its whats real

im not the only one
but itd be weird to start a club for people
drowning in expectations, and intentions
and listening to kickass music
its fine to sit here, writing calmly
and trying not to hate people so much
thats the hard part
not hating people who hate me
i could wish that they'd die
and i could laugh if they do
but im not that kind of girl
i just hate people too much

Submitted on 2006-06-08 22:37:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  hey, i'm not liking the last few lines, i think you got a bit too into the hating without remaining true to your original indifference, but i sure love the rest. It's weird; you probably just summed up ninety percent of the female readership on elite. an that's pretty cool. thanks, love charlie x x x
| Posted on 2006-06-09 00:00:00 | by Charlie Poppins | [ Reply to This ]
  Hey look at that, you wrote a real poem. Congratulations; however, using words like "kickass" is pretty dumb. If I were you, I'd cut off the last two lines of the second stanza, and the entire third stanza. It just sounds too catty and angsty. True, the other parts are angsty, but they actually say something.
| Posted on 2006-06-08 00:00:00 | by emo-tastic | [ Reply to This ]
  this poem is great...i love it....

"i could write a billion cliché love songs
that they'd play all the time on MTV
and i could dance and sing along
and pretend that girl was me"

those lines are brilliant
Very well done

| Posted on 2006-06-08 00:00:00 | by Amanda Lynn | [ Reply to This ]
  Wonderul! I really think this is awesome. It's what we, people like myself, really think. It's really cool how you could put everything I want to write, but lack sufficient talent to do so, so well. The last sentence really captivates me, and it makes me think that you're not trying to be nice and kind and superior, but that you're just hating too much to spend the effort on showing it or doing anything about it. Yep, it rocks. Maybe capitalization would help.

| Posted on 2006-06-08 00:00:00 | by Persephone | [ Reply to This ]

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