Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

IN MY COURT


Author: mimi
ASL Info:    30/f/ny
Elite Ratio:    3.66 - 597 /390 /111
Words: 74
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 1342
Average Vote:    4.0000
Bytes: 453



Description:




IN MY COURT



Just lie in wait
while I ruminate
and formulate the plans
to set things straight.
Please don't berate me,
or dictate how things should be
because the ball is in my court.
Are you my soul mate
or my foe?
When will I let you know?
How do I translate
that I need to set things straight
all this while you
lie in wait?
The ball is in my court.




Submitted on 2006-06-09 18:52:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  wow feels like a slam or rap poem! Hmm good job overall! Don't let someone tell you how your poem "should" be written it's your masterpiece and it is meant to be different anyways I liked it alot keep it up peace & stay safe...
| Posted on 2006-06-10 00:00:00 | by Cordell | [ Reply to This ]
  well, my comment on this poem definitely isn't Goo. I thought that after awhile, this poem just became rambling words. A free write might have been a better choice, rather than putting in the work of making the lines rhyme somewhat, but not bothering to phrase of put any of it into stanzas. Rewrite this with a little bit better phrasing and stanzising, and it will be a workable poem, it may even be great.
Wishing for more
~Brian
| Posted on 2006-06-10 00:00:00 | by Imadjinn | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



106567