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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: For Scottdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cyco_chic
    ASL Info:    15/F/Pa
    Elite Ratio:    3.37 - 9/5/5
    Words: 149
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Love
    Total Views: 700
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 888



    Description:
       This is about the chicken that lost the only love they could ever dream of because of a small mistake, and all her sorrow at realizing it was too late.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFor Scottdots
    -------------------------------------------


    One last look into your eyes
    One last moment for all my cries
    One last glance at the face I love
    One last prayer aimed up above
    One last dream of you in my heart
    One last day till I'm torn all apart

    I promised myself I'd make it work
    Yet still I haven't and I'm going beserk
    I'd settle for speaking to you today
    'Cause lately "sorry" is all I can say
    I'd take it all back and forget my mistake
    But I guess my emotion was too much to take

    You're all I think of every day
    In my eyes your perfect in every way
    If we could move on and a friendship be formed
    The ice in my soul would be melted, reformed
    Wait don't leave i've more to say
    I don't want to lose you on my heart's last day




    Submitted on 2006-06-09 23:48:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      What an emotional write, with great flow throughout. Apart from the first stanza where I thought the rhymes were a tad predictable the rhymes in the rest of the poem were fluent and very well crafted.
    I found the very last line of the poem so very sad and touching, you really put your emotions into this write.
    I only have one suggestion - on the second line of the last stanza you have "your" and it should be "you're."
    Overall an emotional and well written poem.
    Take care,
    Nicola.
    | Posted on 2006-06-10 00:00:00 | by SilverScent | [ Reply to This ]


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