You only say goodnight

Author: LadyMerlina ASL Info:    24/ F/ Montreal Elite Ratio:    3.07 - 60 /93 /58 Words: 72

Class/Type: Misc /Misc Total Views: 886 Average Vote:    5.0000 Bytes: 443

Description:

---

You only say goodnight

---

I don't want to show you how I hurt. I don't want you to see it. But it comes out, shouts out: "this hurts, this hurts". I look at you, say nothing out loud But my eyes water, I look down My hair becomes my shroud. I see you through threads, I sometimes see your light. I say I love you through the door. You only say goodnight.

Submitted on 2006-06-10 11:25:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_< 2: I dunno... 3: meh! 4: Pretty cool 5: Wow!

Comments

Thank you very much Frank for the lovely comment :o). Nobody's even been so eloquent about my words, I truly appreciate it. I look forward to reading your stuff. LM

| Posted on 2006-06-11 00:00:00 | by LadyMerlina | [ Reply to This ]

This is very good. I love how you made everything connect in this, from the title into the write. Another piece I have read from you that was definitely worth the read. Keep up the great work and take care Welcome to the site I hope your stay here is wonderful and fulfilling as mine as been thus far. Jason

| Posted on 2006-06-12 00:00:00 | by Departed One | [ Reply to This ]

Really good poetry is hard to find, yet you have posted it here for all to see. Subtle yet filled with the ache of longing. God, you are gifted!

| Posted on 2006-07-01 00:00:00 | by junemarie | [ Reply to This ]

My hair becomes my shroud. this seems to be a great line and fitting of how you might have been feeling at the time. And I like the use of images instead of vague sentimentality to send the message across. The scene is well chosen and makes us wonder why the leaving just happens without a thought. and that makes for a very thoughtful write nice work, good to see something different and new welcome too! Nan

| Posted on 2006-06-23 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]

Well written and the quite poignant. I see the door as a barrier to this love being realised. I enjoyed reading this. It is different and good. Welcome to the site. Frank.

| Posted on 2006-06-11 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest. 2. Try not to give only compliments. 3. How did it make you feel? 4. Why did it make you feel that way? 5. Which parts? 6. What distracted from the piece?

7. What was unclear? 8. What does it remind you of? 9. How could it be improved? 10. What would you have done differently? 11. What was your interpretation of it? 12. Does it feel original?

106635