Description: it's gonna suck, let me tell you that! i wrote it after reading some poem by some british guy in english clas it was called
"stopping by the woods"
stopping by the woods on a rainy day -------------------------------------------
Tiny drops of rain touch my shoulder
lightly and consistenly then become colder
My body shivers at their feel
Slowly by body is a heavy as a boulder
At my knees, I kneel
Upon the ground that may seal
The underworld below me
and reaches further than my heel
The trees are as still as can be
The river stretches further than my eye can c
The wind is weak
No more can i feel it upon me
The river that I seek
Flows dowhill at it's peak
So i shall be smart
and not be sailed don it's beak
No more it my heart
shall i fear the mighty dart
I knew it from the start
That I'd succeed if I followed my heart/
Like Jason says, It's a start. And Yes Robert Frost is one of the Quintessential American poets. He's always right there next to Dickenson and Whitman as the beginnings of modern american poetry. They are the three poets no AMerican poet can escape.
On top of Jason's points,
"Slowly by body is a heavy as a boulder" would read better as "Slowly MY body is AS heavy as a boulder"
"At my knees, I kneel Upon the ground that may seal"
"ON my knees, I kneel Upon the ground that may seal" That line also reads redundant. If you're on your knees, it's assumed your kneeling. Saying it twice really doesn't do anything for the poem.
"The river that I seek Flows dowhill at it's peak So i shall be smart and not be sailed don it's beak"
"The river that I seek Flows dowhill FROM ITS peak So i shall be smart and not be sailed ON ITS beak"
Also... Beak feels like a forced rhyme. I'm not sure of the idea or thought you're trying to convey here. Why does the river have a beak? Do you mean beak like on a duck?
"No more it my heart"
"No more IN my heart"
Revise... and I think the image and idea you're trying to convey will come through with much more strength.
I believe your talking about Robert Frost. I could be wrong mind you but thats my initial guess. And if it is Frost he is an American to my knowledge. That said this is as bad as you might believe. There are a few areas though that could use some tightening up but its not bad at all, a good start if I ever saw one. If you will allow let me offer some suggestions on this piece you have got here.
Tiny drops of rain touch my shoulder lightly and [consistently] then become colder My body shivers at their feel Slowly by body is a heavy as a boulder
(You left off the 't' in the word consistently but no biggie)
At my knees, I kneel Upon the ground that may seal The underworld below me and reaches further than my heel
The trees are as still as can be The river stretches further than my eye can [c] The wind is weak No more can [i] feel it upon me
( I seem rather inappropriate to you the letter 'c' to mean 'see'. Maybe you could correct that. And also the 'I' that you have in there should be caps.)
The river that I seek Flows dowhill at it's peak So i shall be smart and not be sailed don it's beak
No more it my heart shall [i] fear the mighty dart I knew it from the start That I'd succeed if I followed my heart[/]
(Something goes for this 'I' and I think it would be best if you remove the / at the end. Maybe a fullstop would suffice)
These are only my suggestions though as to changes. You can take as you see fit or don't use them at all. I did enjoyed this though, really like the rhythm is had going.
Submission Name: stopping by the woods on a rainy day
