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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Fly Awaydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Toxic Rose
    Elite Ratio:    5.82 - 159/220/97
    Words: 113
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 940
    Average Vote:    3.0000
    Bytes: 763



    Description:
       Fly away..


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFly Awaydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Fly away, my broken dove,
    Fly away to skies above
    Search for a heart that's clear and true-
    Search for one devoted to you.

    When nothing goes right
    And the happiness fades away
    You've gotta reach into your heart
    And search for the one who will never leave you
    There are arms who will hold you
    There are hearts who will forgive you
    Just remember
    Please remember
    I'll hold you up when your hope fades away
    I'll hold your heart
    I'll be your love
    I'll be there.

    Fly away, my broken dove,
    Fly away to skies above
    Search for a heart that's clear and true-
    Search for one devoted to you.




    Submitted on 2006-06-11 16:37:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Personally, I think the flow from the first stanza to the mid section could be a little better, but it is fine probably as it is.

    The reiteration of the first stanza after the mid section was spectacularly effective. Keep up the good work.

    Joe

    P.S. - I need to comment more too...
    | Posted on 2006-06-19 00:00:00 | by SilverLightning | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this, it was pretty decent.
    The rhymes were fair and was so the rhythm.

    Love can hurt but it can also heal
    I sort of get the idea that one would want to heal love wounds with love.

    Enjoyed this
    Keep up the good work

    Be happy

    Jason
    | Posted on 2006-06-13 00:00:00 | by Departed One | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
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    12. Does it feel original?



    106800

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
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