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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Of King and Goddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Rastine Aristat
    ASL Info:    19/Male/California
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 125/62/31
    Words: 213
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 947
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1419



    Description:
       As always, I appreciate your stopping by, and I prefer honesty to kindness. Salaam.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOf King and Goddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Your men come
    To you, my Liege,
    We bring homage
    To our master.

    We sacrifice dignity
    To bring you gifts
    Befitting a king,
    Befitting you, our Lord.

    Our crops are yours,
    Grown on your land.
    Our gold we return to
    The hand that ordered itís mint.

    We offer our daughters,
    To warm your bed at night,
    As we envy your noble birth,
    For the pleasures it brings.

    Our sons we give you,
    Send them to your fields of war.
    May they die with valor,
    And bring glory to your flag.

    We give you an empire,
    Paid for in blood,
    So the world will know
    That you are their Lord.

    Our king, our chief,
    Our liege, lord and master.
    In return wonít you grant,
    Just one small delusion.

    If you would please
    Be our god,
    Bend our hope and creed
    To your own ends

    Our faith in you
    Shall be unshakable,
    In you we shall place
    All hope in this life and the next.

    For yours shall be the crown,
    Yours shall be the sacred texts.
    Write them according to
    Your holy will.

    Your decadent cadence
    We follow to Hell,
    For yours is the kingdom,, power and glory
    Now and forevermore.




    Submitted on 2006-06-11 20:05:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I was actually going with this poem until you threw in the word 'President.' That was when the poem skewed and lost the reality I had given it and became a slap of 'yes I'm making a political statement... look at me." You trusted your reader to that point to understand your meaning... why change it there and make it explicit? It seems as if you lost faith in your reader to understand you. You'll also have a better chance of swaying your reader by not being so overt.
    | Posted on 2006-06-12 00:00:00 | by DavidHirt | [ Reply to This ]
      Down with satan! Down with satan said as many times as there are tjmes to be said. The dark spirit shall be no more.
    | Posted on 2006-06-11 00:00:00 | by realpoet | [ Reply to This ]


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    106825

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
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