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I can see you clearly now. All the pieces have been put together Your eyes with the sparkle so full of life. With such joy put together and a glowing smile. Its all put together now. I can hear you clearly now. The static has vanished from my ears. It's all left with your voice echoing through my mind. Everything you've said is lying somewhere along with memories. It all makes sense now. I can feel you smoothly now. Every edge and curve on you perfectly along with the beauty within your heart; your soul. Not a flaw, not a mark to show, for us to notice. It's all perfect now. You're clear now... I can see right through you. |
One thing, I don't understand how the person being clear would allow you to see through them. I know it's a saying but it doesnt quite make sense to me. You seem to repeat the same things over and over again but using different words. Overall, I like it, I mean it needs work and it was OK... Consider re-writing it, it has great potential. necrotic | Posted on 2007-04-26 00:00:00 | by necrotic | [ Reply to This ] | This was a pretty good poem. I like the repetition made a unique feel. I hope that since he had to wait for a poem about himself that he was satified and enjoyed it as much as I did. You are a good poet and I hope to read more of your stuff. The one thing that I thought thoughout this poem was if there were more than just fellings of friendship. Well I liked it and keep it up. | Toodles Katie | Posted on 2007-01-13 00:00:00 | by Lover girl | [ Reply to This ] | kewlness, this was so sweet | ![]() ![]() ![]() ~jess | Posted on 2006-10-06 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ] | i really like this poem. its short and sweet. is this about you know who? or someone different? this is a nice comeback piece, and i cant see one thing i would change about it. | xoxoxoxo, billy | Posted on 2006-06-13 00:00:00 | by kession | [ Reply to This ] | Initial thoughts and feelings: this is so sweet, stiring emotions of great friendship, even love. | I like how you start each stanza. The repetition effectively sets up each stanza which is concluded powerfully with your last lines. Also, the very last line of the poem left me with many emotions. On a less technical note, I read your desctiption first, something that I usually try not to do. The story behind your poem is very sweet and I'm glad I read your description first. It set up the rest of the poem and added much more emotion to it. ^_^ Great writing and I hope to see more of your writing in future. | Posted on 2006-06-13 00:00:00 | by Eagle | [ Reply to This ] | |