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    dots Submission Name: while you waitdots

    Author: mimi
    ASL Info:    30/f/ny
    Elite Ratio:    3.66 - 597/390/111
    Words: 115
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1170
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 725


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotswhile you waitdots

    Just lie in wait
    while I ruminate
    and formulate the plans
    to set things straight.
    Please don't berate me,
    or dictate how things should be
    because the ball is in my court.
    Are you my soul mate
    or my foe?
    When will I let you know?
    If I tell you how I rate
    the place where we now stand,
    all you will understand
    is that i desecrated
    the memory of when we dated.
    How do I translate
    that I need to set things straight
    in my mind.
    Yes unfair and most unkind
    but time, i can't rewind.
    so I will ponder
    while you wonder
    the ball is in my court.

    Submitted on 2006-06-12 09:52:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    ||| Comments |||
      Hmmm...so, you got HAND! HA!

    I never understood that "one upmanship" of courting another. I guess I never will since I choose to believe all are created equal, but what can ya do, ya know?

    This was interesting to read and written very, very well. Totally capturing the mindset you were intending to expose. Ruminate is kind of an odd word and sort of comes off as a forced rhyme in this write though.

    If I tell you how I rate
    the place where we now stand,
    all you will understand
    is that i desecrated

    That stanza just seemed a little off kilter too...lemme know whatcha think about this:

    If you now desecrate
    this place in which we stand,
    how can we then concentrate
    As we walk hand in hand

    Or something like that. As/when...can/will...who knows. Just a couple of suggestions.

    Thanks for sharing!
    | Posted on 2006-07-11 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      I wonder if this is how my ex is feeling....
    I dunno...
    but Its nice to read poetry from other peoples point of view..
    this is what I like about this site.
    | Posted on 2006-06-12 00:00:00 | by SetmyselfonFire | [ Reply to This ]

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