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while you wait


Author: mimi
ASL Info:    30/f/ny
Elite Ratio:    3.66 - 597 /390 /111
Words: 115
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1217
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 725



Description:




while you wait



Just lie in wait
while I ruminate
and formulate the plans
to set things straight.
Please don't berate me,
or dictate how things should be
because the ball is in my court.
Are you my soul mate
or my foe?
When will I let you know?
If I tell you how I rate
the place where we now stand,
all you will understand
is that i desecrated
the memory of when we dated.
How do I translate
that I need to set things straight
in my mind.
Yes unfair and most unkind
but time, i can't rewind.
so I will ponder
while you wonder
because
the ball is in my court.




Submitted on 2006-06-12 09:52:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Hmmm...so, you got HAND! HA!

I never understood that "one upmanship" of courting another. I guess I never will since I choose to believe all are created equal, but what can ya do, ya know?

This was interesting to read and written very, very well. Totally capturing the mindset you were intending to expose. Ruminate is kind of an odd word and sort of comes off as a forced rhyme in this write though.

If I tell you how I rate
the place where we now stand,
all you will understand
is that i desecrated

That stanza just seemed a little off kilter too...lemme know whatcha think about this:

If you now desecrate
this place in which we stand,
how can we then concentrate
As we walk hand in hand

Or something like that. As/when...can/will...who knows. Just a couple of suggestions.

Thanks for sharing!
| Posted on 2006-07-11 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
  I wonder if this is how my ex is feeling....
I dunno...
but Its nice to read poetry from other peoples point of view..
this is what I like about this site.
nice.:)
| Posted on 2006-06-12 00:00:00 | by SetmyselfonFire | [ Reply to This ]


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