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    dots Submission Name: Wrecked Reflectiondots

    Author: Lost_Delirious
    ASL Info:    17/f/mexico
    Elite Ratio:    5.13 - 49/36/11
    Words: 326
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 1087
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2230

       A poem that describes the thoughts of a girl, who's depressed and alone.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWrecked Reflectiondots

    A perfect picture the stars see,
    A sugar moon kissing her sleep.
    Her tranquil eyes so gently closed,
    A nature smile her lips expose.

    Her pillow holds a thousand tears,
    Been saving them for sour years.
    Her blanket warms her lovely face,
    The one who screams a smile so fake.

    An angel visits her sweet dream,
    And her wounds promises to heal.
    She listens to a soothing song,
    Finally a place where she belongs.

    A strong thunder reaches her thoughts,
    Disturbs and shakes her fantasy of love.
    The raindrops outside so cold and new,
    Find their way into her heart so sad and confused.

    Awake and frightened she lays in the dark,
    Caressing her face with her innocent hands.
    Realizing it was just her never ending wish,
    Her calmness fades as she fearfully breathes.

    Now, in front of the mirror she's standing,
    At her wrecked reflection she keeps staring.
    Self-esteem lost in her clouded sky,
    Along with her home, carefully disguised.

    Her eyes start bleeding all her pain,
    Slipping down her cheek, leaving stains.
    Guiltiness pouring as she sobs and cries,
    Every hope she could ever have is out of sight.

    Wishes drowning as she whispers complaints,
    Her eyes filling themselves once again.
    The girl's leaning against the harmful glass,
    That hits her with every memory of the past.

    Everybody hurting her with actions and words,
    The only way of resting was being alone.
    But even then, she couldn't forget,
    The lies, the judgments, the bitter rejects.

    Now, the girl lays on her bedroom's floor,
    All the time, that's all she'd been asking for
    Just being alone, with her silence and scars,
    Dreams blending with the high glowing stars.

    Her young eyes are closing as night goes by,
    Wet eyelashes letting go of sadness, tears dry.
    Softly she breathes to the rhythm of a dove,
    Unconsciously she prays for the existence of love.

    Submitted on 2006-06-12 12:29:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      I just want to tell you what I admire about this poem: two things both merely technical. One is the way you are weaving together the image of moon reflection in water being disturbed or distorted or destroyed by the water getting hit by a stone or rippled by the wind. The remarkable thing is that you don't describe this at all except in the title, yet it gives a deeper and wider field of meaning to the whole poem.

    Second is the rhyme scheme. They are mostly imperfect rhymes, so that when a perfect one drops in, it has extra effect for emphasis. If that is not deliberate, it is still talented and it could become a deliberate technique.
    | Posted on 2006-12-10 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      wow! i like this, because it relates to my poem mr.depression a lot. i know how your character feels, but one day the clouds will break on her and things will be ok again...it will take a lot of hard work and won't be the slightest bit easy.

    i really liked most of this poem, but in some places the rhythm was a little bit forced

    none the less this is going to my favourites list!

    | Posted on 2006-07-17 00:00:00 | by DanceADream | [ Reply to This ]
      I have to say I read all your stuff (so far) and liked it all! In this one however I have a few favourite lines
    "She listens to a soothing song,
    Finally a place where she belongs." And also:
    "Self-esteem lost in her clouded sky,
    Along with her home, carefully disguised."

    Girl, you got talent

    Looking forward to more


    | Posted on 2006-07-16 00:00:00 | by LadyMerlina | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this poem. I liked the rhyming, although in some parts of the poem, the rhyming disappeared. I don't think I got the same interpretation out of it, as you meant it to be though. But I think poems can have many different interpreations depending on the people who read them. Anyway, I'm adding this to my favorires. It was a great poem.

    | Posted on 2006-06-26 00:00:00 | by PiperH | [ Reply to This ]

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