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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Summer Breezedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 161
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 581
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 947



    Description:
       The night speaks to me


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSummer Breezedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Something floats to me on the summer breeze,
    A whisper in the warm, dark night
    A promise of things yet to come,
    An assurance that I can be alright.

    Your face stares back at me from the dark waters,
    The ripples make you seem to smile
    For a moment, I can pretend like you're beside me
    I can be happy for a little while.

    I lie on my back and gaze at the stars,
    And my eyes began to tear
    I know that somewhere out there, you're looking at the same sky,
    And I can feel you near.

    I can almost feel you beside me,
    When I lie down and close my eyes.
    I taste you in the wind
    I see you in the sky.

    Something floats to me in the warm summer night,
    Drifting out of the darkness above
    So, I'll struggle on till my hands can reach
    The whispers of your love.






    Submitted on 2006-06-12 13:03:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is incredibly dreamy
    In this write I feel like you were relating a dream
    This is quite beautiful
    I too have these moments where I see who I wish would be a soulmate before my eyes
    I can only hope and pray one day this dream will come true
    Great Job!!!!
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-06-12 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      This piece has great voice and feel as Ron has already told you. It's pretty straight forward but you still find a way to infuse it with that dreamy night time feel.

    What I like is that you don't really say if this is someone who's still waiting for her soulmate or if they have been separated for some reason. That's a good thing since it leaves it up to the reader's experience to fill in those blanks.

    jan
    | Posted on 2006-06-12 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      Okay when I first read this I thought you were a dummy, not Tony whispering or even his memory...but my bird. Of course it had to be little [censored]. Hee hee. No but this is...strong. And makes me remember that morning that we tried to watch the sun come up...but it was hiding. I remember that when I read this, don't know why. Not gonna question it. Love you and this was rad. Dawg.
    | Posted on 2006-06-14 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]


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