Winter by HansRik

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Submission Name: Winter dots

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Author:	HansRik
ASL Info:	19/male/United Kingdom
Elite Ratio:	5.93 - 78/55/9
Words:	44

Class/Type:	Poetry/Serious
Total Views:	130
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	368

Description:
An attempt to write poetry with specific forms.

A rictameter is a nine line poetry form. The 1st and the last lines are the same and the syllable count is as follows: -

Line 1 - 2 syllables - same as line 9
Line 2 - 4 syllables
Line 3 - 6 syllables
Line 4 - 8 syllables
Line 5 - 10 syllables
Line 6 - 8 syllables
Line 7 - 6 syllables
Line 8 - 4 syllables
Line 9 - 2 syllables - same as line 1

Winter

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Winter (Rictameter)
by HansRik

Winter
Colourless skies
The harshest soul-less wind
resulting in shivering deaths
of the innocent joy of life, anon!
Striking with its powerful song,
annihilating Time,
consuming life...
Winter.

©© 2005
(Hans Rik- nom de plume)

Submitted on 2006-06-13 09:17:07 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Errmm... you're not exactly following your formatting?

Anyways, it's an interesting way to display the destructive nature of winter... people residing here in the tropics don't experience winter... and we tend to think of winter as something beautiful (even after experiencing it while travelling). And I don't see how winter can "annilate time" too...

All said, its a compact, well-written poem that conveys the writer's message well. Nice effort.

Bann
| Posted on 2006-06-14 00:00:00 | by unREMb | [ Reply to This ]
  hi cutie

I had actually never heard of a rictameter,
but according to your explanation this is definately one, you followed those rules. So I dont agree with Bann about not following the format

Ok I actually think free verse is always very nice, not following any rules and all, so you can be very free and not bother about a format.
With things like these or haikus or anything, I sometimes get the idea that the rules are.. too strict and prevent maybe what a writer really wants to say.

In other words. I like free verse :P

Now to your write, I like the wording you used, and the personification of winter.
soul-less and cruel, killing slowly.
I dont watch at winter like that either. I hate winter when it is only just. vry cold and ...raining.. but I love it
when I..
wake up, then watch outside
and discover the world
is covered in white.

lol.. without noticing I was rhyming with what I wanted to say and the only thing I added was 2 x enter.. Never mind, i'm typing useless stuff now,

Janneke
| Posted on 2006-06-18 00:00:00 | by Darth Zeus | [ Reply to This ]
  I had never heard of a rictameter, and though I am no expert, I have explored many diifferent forms,-I like finding something different and trying to fit the form to the message. I feel that when you write to a form, it often serves to sharpen your skills,--not because free vers has "no rules" ( ,i,WRONG), but because the limitations, no matter how small or severe, cause the writer to maximize word usage, imagery --cut to the chase as effectively as possible. When left to free verse, one often says too little , --for too long.

At any rate I like this and especially so because I appreciate trying to wrap a theme around a form,-- you must have exactly the right amount of input, -anything superfluous incites boedom swiftly.

.I."Winter
Colourless skies
The harshest soul-less wind
resulting in shivering deaths
of the innocent joy of life, anon!
Striking with its powerful song,
annihilating Time,
consuming life...
Winter"

Very nice ,---though I might reconsider the "anon", as it is the only archaic word in an otherwise timeless theme. Other than that, you capture the cold harsh landscape tat is winter.

Thanks for submitting

Silver

| Posted on 2006-12-02 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]

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