I hate stupid emo people. Their music sucks. Their hairstyles look like some horrible anime geek convention rejects shit mousse, gel and other hair-styling products on their skulls. No, you dumbshits. Those highlights are not interesting and original. You all look like fucking Rogue. Shaving half your head and combing the other half over is not neat. You look like some sideways middle-aged-male-pattern-baldness-suffering fuck. I could even deal with the hair. But the tight-ass jeans you stole from your ex girlfriends? What the fuck? Seriously. If you fit in a size 0, and you have a penis, chances are it's time for you to eat some fucking Burger King or something because to be honest, you look like a bitch. Sandals? Sure. Sandals pwn. But if you paint your fucking toenails in a rainbow-y pattern, either don't show it off, or just wear a shirt that says "I love to blow the meat-whistle." And what about those tight shirts? Ok...lime green is a great color for a tight shirt. If there are some boobs behind it. Otherwise, as Vince Voss would say "Gee Ay Wy."
So...you look like a jeans-pattern-spandex wrapped mop sticking out of a retina-burning-colored shirt. Sure. But the fucking music! Oh my God. Somebody hand me a fucking cottonball and a bandaid, because I swear this bleeding from my ears won't stop. If your drummer is good enough to sub for the guy from Slipknot when he calls in sick after a bad party, why would you waste him on a bunch of stupid fucks who couldn't figure out which end of the guitar they stick up their ass, and a vocalist that can't decide whether to sound like he's channeling Satan or a 6-year old girl on Helium?
I swear to all things holy, that if I see another silly little bitch with a cleverly-arranged pattern of facial hair and a beanie hat that has more colors on it than a pile of vomit after somebody ate fourteen pounds of different kinds of Skittles, I am going to stab them in the eye with a plastic spork.
The solution? Find out what DnB is, get a strobelight, take some E and learn how to live life properly.