[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Fooling Youdots

    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 119
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 752
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 662

       Thinking about the odd little actions we take to fool everyone else. They never fool the people that really know us...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFooling Youdots

    I could bury my face in the pillow again
    To hide the blush on my face.
    I could take a sip from the water glass
    To free myself of the taste.
    I could lower my head to the desk,
    And hide behind my hair.
    I could quickly look the other way,
    And pretend like I don't care.
    I could turn up the radio louder than this,
    To drown out the sound of a voice.
    I could finally turn and walk away
    As if I had a choice.
    I could form an expression with my mouth
    As if I knew exactly what to do.
    But no matter what action I decide to take,
    It is never enough to fool you.

    Submitted on 2006-06-13 11:04:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Yea thats definitely true. For me it's just that I will do different things too hide a felling like lock myself in a thought chamber esque room and write or draw/paint with industrial music blasting at ungodly levels! Haha. Anyway I know my comment is really pointless but I just wanted to express my thoughts on this piece and I enjoyed it cuz it made me think of something different but still within the same realm...if that makes any sense and I know it doesn't.

    Take care
    | Posted on 2006-11-29 00:00:00 | by fryte | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this piece alot but i think in the 5th line u ment 2 say "I could lower my head to the desk," instead of "I could I could lower my head to the desk," please take a look @ sum of my poems & tell me wut ya think of em.

    ~!! Lynorie !!~
    | Posted on 2006-06-13 00:00:00 | by xanarchyxdream | [ Reply to This ]
      I wish you could be happy...I would be so much more relieved. Part of the thing that drags me down is that you aren't truly happy...and I just wish that you would have hope. Cause you need to hope...more than anything. Just always be content. I don't know, i have no advice to give. I am so messed up. Googly gook.
    | Posted on 2006-06-14 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      It's hard to fool other people who use the same defense mechanisms that you do. This is short and sweet and to the point. I kept expecting more of an ending...to find that you are hiding form one person not something quites so global as the description implies. This write feels personal even if it's not.

    | Posted on 2006-06-13 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Carry written by saartha
    Records I written by Raphael
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Love written by saartha
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Cover written by saartha
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    prison written by ShyOne
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    i've missed written by mysalvation




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]