[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Where It Belongs...dots

    Author: wallya20
    ASL Info:    18/m/Bahamas
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 113/68/26
    Words: 293
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1004
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1927

       Gettin my baby back

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhere It Belongs...dots

    At the pier, I'm leaving
    What did you think?
    During those precious moments in your life
    Standing in pause whilst everyone around you goes on
    You look from the corner of your eyes
    There I am
    Your first everything
    But your hindered by the asshole you call a boyfriend
    To hurt to move you use his shoulder to cry
    Each tear brings vivid memories of only one
    Running down your cheek onto his sleeve
    Realizing he isn't worth it he doesn't deserve the honor
    Of comforting you
    I'm still walking by but you can't move
    Desperately telling yourself to reach, to call...
    There I am thinking about how you hurt me
    Head down, hands clinched, emotions sinking
    Finally you moved, pushing him away
    Moving toward me
    As you get closer I move farther
    You look at the blades of grass in front of me
    And watch the tears hit them 1 by 1
    They now carry the sorrow as the lay dying
    Now your telling yourself to leave
    Just leave, you have caused enough pain
    Turning around you noticed warmth
    Then you see arms wrapping around you waist
    So perfect exactly where they belong
    Seeing tears run down your breasts
    Exactly where they belong
    You turned around and starred at my cheeks...
    Opening your mouth you said "I'm sor"...shhh
    I pressed my fingers against your lips
    We belong here right now
    No apologies just Love Me Again
    You never even noticed as we walked into my room
    As I lay you down, legs open my mouth between
    Sweat rising on your stomach
    Raised heartbeats and long breaths
    I cradle your head... Thrusting deeper and deeper
    Love is where it belongs in this moment
    With me......

    Submitted on 2006-06-13 11:59:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      aaw bubz this was soo sweet, i think i was fallin for a moment then lol you have a great talent for showing your emotions in such depth, i wanted to read more from you, so i will be chekin out more of your work,
    keep em cummin
    | Posted on 2006-06-14 00:00:00 | by secret kisses | [ Reply to This ]
      That was great, it was daring of you to be so sensual and I like it..it was very good and the speliing erroe were limited in comparison to other things I've read..but imagery...it was..great..I mean really great...so going on my favoritea...Keep it up...

    | Posted on 2006-07-12 00:00:00 | by FarawayFeelings | [ Reply to This ]
      hey hun, sweet write, you are amazing at writing love themes, I haven't even tried in a while. good emotion hun, not sure what to say, hope things work out, I guess that's one thing that only time will tell on anyway good write, I'm not gonna say too much more.
    peace and luv,
    | Posted on 2006-06-15 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hm, this was interesting. Sweet yet, hott? lol. There were two spelling errors, like "dieing" should be "dying", and when you said:

    "Just leave you have cost enough pain"

    Shouldn't it be:

    "Just leave, you have caused enough pain"

    Dunno, anyways..Once again, your poem captures me..Your description blew me away, I could feel everything..You loved her, and you were waiting for her to just leave this so called fu-ck of boyfriend..I've been there, I was there like a week ago..Kind of sucks, ya know? Just waiting...and hoping, that this person will come to you..And when they do, its a happy ending, for now. The ending to this piece was interesting, it switched from being all "happy mushy" to being "sex", haha. But I liked the transition, just shows that this girl and you should be together, the way its suppose to be..Nice job with this piece, definetely going on my favs. Anywho keep up the great work, hope to see more from you soon. Take Care, best of wishes.

    | Posted on 2006-06-17 00:00:00 | by rainbowXrazors | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]