[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: An Unfortunate Incidentdots

    Author: marigold
    Elite Ratio:    3.08 - 182/203/89
    Words: 114
    Class/Type: Poetry/Comedy
    Total Views: 1291
    Average Vote:    3.5000
    Bytes: 793


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAn Unfortunate Incidentdots

    One rainy day a red-cheeked gnome
    went tramping down the street,
    his steps were brisk, he hummed a tune
    green boots were on his feet.

    He splashed in all the puddles gray
    and made the children jump,
    he was so absent-minded that--
    oh dear, another bump...

    A puddle he then came across
    that was surpassing fair,
    for moonlit, lacy flowers shone
    inside its wat'ry lair.

    His humming ceased, his eyes grew dim
    enchantment stopped his heart,
    into the fay kaliedascope
    his breath spead like a dart.

    He fell into the puddle then
    and ne'er again was seen,
    oh! where now is the laughing gnome
    with boots so brightly green?

    Submitted on 2006-06-13 12:50:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      LOL. Poor gnome!

    Slight nitpicking: You put "kaliedascope". You may have meant "kaleidoscope". Other than that, a very fun read - though not for the gnome, I'm sure
    | Posted on 2008-02-07 00:00:00 | by Maverique | [ Reply to This ]
      it,s cool , funny too , haven't gotten a laugh in a while is probably why [don't mean to be rude there ] ,is cool
    | Posted on 2007-12-13 00:00:00 | by every48seconds | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice story I like the flow and the easy read of it.
    but I didn't get it. maybe I'm reading it wrong.
    The Poor Man's Poet.
    | Posted on 2006-06-13 00:00:00 | by Bobby K | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this, probably due to my own affection for gnomes. It is very unique, and as far as I know you and I are the only ones who have posted writes about them. Mine is called Romancing the Garden Gnome. I hope you will check it out. However, I should make this comment about your poem. I like the format, it was easy to read. I also liked the ending very much. I could picture the gnome vividly while I was reading. I think this could be elongated into a short story. I am adding this to my favs. :D
    | Posted on 2006-06-13 00:00:00 | by RedRoseofBlood | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]