As The World Goes Round
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Description:
I wrote this at 2 o'clock in the morning because i couldn't sleep so it's not the best. Please vote as well as give comments.
As The World Goes Round
As the world goes round and round Here we are on this ground This is where we live our life That we nobly fill with strife Our emptiness is so consuming As our end is so ever looming As the world goes round and round Here our pathetic race is found Will we ever be happy? Will we always want more? What does our fate have in store? With this stress ever so rife Can this only be meaningless life? As the world goes round And our sins begin to mound We sit and waste our lives away Like a piece of unformed clay As the world goes round To scared to take a risk To frightend to make the jump To terrified to leap Can't we even take a chance Because of our extreme stance Without cowering in our fears Or bursting into tears On the possibility Of unpredictability As the world goes round Worries are ever abound Quickly our life goes by And with this you must comply That you didn't really try As the world goes round |
Submitted on 2006-06-13 16:38:44 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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| This is a very interesting write I respectively do not fully agree with the statement you are making however There are plenty of People like me who realize life can be beautiful if you fill it with the positive and not let the negativity invade your soul With the Positive Energy you inherit you then can spread the beautiful love you hold inside to others so they may move forward I enjoyed reading this God Bless Ron Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think Thank You Ron | Posted on 2006-06-13 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ] | This is a very good write, but I'm going to make a few suggestions. First off, I think you should start both of the first two stanzas with "as the world goes round and round'...it would add a sense of familiarity to it, also because the line that follows does rhyme with it...then you can go on just using 'round' once. I do have to agree with you that it could be better, but most poems that are written in the early hours of the morning can be a little off. So I would seriously suggest working on this, I really think it could be an extremely great poem with a little work. If you even want my help, I'll be more than happy to help. Peace. | *tox* | Posted on 2006-06-13 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ] | |
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