Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: walked awaydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Localfreak
    ASL Info:    37, Maybe, Here
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 131/123/76
    Words: 139
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1131
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 956



    Description:
       This is once again, all true, the closest I can get to writing my own feelings and actions is to be the third person.

    The reading is a little different than most peices I have ever written as each small stanza is virtually self contained and stands alone without following the flow of the next


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotswalked awaydots
    -------------------------------------------


    He walked away from empty lives
    To find the knowledge buried deep inside

    A need arose to find a way
    To heal corruption born of lies

    A soul can only fight so hard
    Against the forked tongues of the sick
    Unknowns beshrew the open mind
    Out there's the door to set it free


    He stands alone and breathes the air
    Freedoms sapor seems so strange



    Hearing no malefic words
    His head feels barren
    Knowing destiny's not set
    Occults the futures path

    And always will the time be true
    And always he knows something new
    Without, within an upturned smile
    Without corruptions guttural crow


    With minds jetsam floating all around
    Exempt of odious fleeting thoughts
    He walks alone, his head held high
    He walks
    To leave his past behind




    Submitted on 2006-06-13 18:52:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Reminded me of the U2 song Walk On. I enjoyed this piece for in a sense I can relate to the persona. I like the idea you mentioned in the description that each stanza is seperate in a sense and doesn't flow into the other. Yet while reading this I didn't really get that, they did seem connected to me in their own right.

    I enjoyed reading this

    Keep up the good work

    Be happy

    Jason
    | Posted on 2006-06-13 00:00:00 | by Departed One | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    107058

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Stretto written by saartha
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    This written by Chelebel
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by Chelebel

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry