[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: I will not lose you nowdots

    Author: sunset
    ASL Info:    21/F/Melb, Australia
    Elite Ratio:    4.45 - 76/46/32
    Words: 134
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1113
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 774


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI will not lose you nowdots

    In the sunlight of your eyes
    Close this day with a kiss
    You know every part of me
    You hold me with such clarity
    And I am naked before you
    I have nothing left to give you
    When you hold me close
    And tears rain from your eyes
    I know not of love or hate
    I do not understand your fear
    Inside I am screaming at you
    But my hands are helpless
    I will hold on to you
    And grip with my every breath
    So that I do not lose you
    Not today or any other
    I ask you to stay with me
    Through the nights and the day
    Because we are something special
    That cannot be ignored or explained
    We circle around our destiny
    And I will not lose you now

    Submitted on 2006-06-13 20:50:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I love the title of this

    "I will not lose you now"
    It is so simple, strong, and desperate.

    The lines I like the best are
    "You hold me with such clarity"
    "But my hands are helpless"

    I feel they are the most powerful.

    Well I'm sorry I'm not more helpful, but I did like the poem.

    | Posted on 2006-06-14 00:00:00 | by chemberdan | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]