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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sighdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Suffer Well
    ASL Info:    36/F/East Coast
    Elite Ratio:    3.2 - 53/51/32
    Words: 189
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1048
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1174



    Description:
       Ugh...self explainatory....**I edited this piece so that the whole thing read in first person.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSighdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Sigh.

    I want to scream, I want to cry.
    I want to smile, I want to die.
    When does the confusion and suffering end?
    That is, when you fall in love with a friend?

    I miss the times of joy spent together
    that now are a memory and spoiled forever.
    Tainted by guilt and uncomfortable feelings,
    imprisoned by drives that make up all of life's beings.

    I want to reach out to you and share my affection,
    but that would require mortal infection.

    You sit with her, and I sit with him,
    both of us thinking of what may have been.

    Never in my life could I have invisioned,
    having my mind make a decision.
    A commitment that was left out of my hands,
    that succumbs to the mind's wildest demands.

    Obessessing and endless these feelings of mine,
    nothing reduces them, nothing is fine.

    I live life each day a shadow of persona,
    longing to rid my mind of the drama.

    I am stuck in a place I dont want to be,
    consumed by the torment existing in me.

    Sigh.




    Submitted on 2006-06-14 14:34:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i like this poem. i felt the same way about a really close friend of mine. and when i told her how i felt, at first she said she only wanted to be friends...which made everyday in class uncomfortable. then she said she was just scared and that she liked me too. and that just made things between us go even worse. to this day our friendship isnt as good as it used to be.
    | Posted on 2006-07-07 00:00:00 | by kession | [ Reply to This ]
      very well done. i love the first two stanzas, they fit so well together and set the mood. I think you should maybe have tried keeping the stanzas in four line, but in the end, it wokes out. it inturups the flow a bit to have it change back and forth with no deffinate pattern. love evolving from a friendship can be a hard thing...but it can also be one of the most amazing things in the world. knowing someone so well. sometiems..there isnt a difference from dating someone, and being best friends. great write, and keep up the good work! ~ Nichole
    | Posted on 2006-06-18 00:00:00 | by butterfly_chi5 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is extremely well done
    I Like the way you wrote this one
    It is true that one one falls in Love with a Friend an end to a certain bit of Love has escaped
    You believe a new Love is taking over but iyt is quite sad that The love evolved from Friendship slowly disapates
    Very Nicely Said!!!
    God Bless
    Ron

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-06-14 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Very self-explanatory, what a predicament, to secretly love one who must remain a friend...

    Nicely done, I don't know why you changed the stanza length, I think it would be best all in two-liners or four, but not changed.

    Well done, you describe the dilemma very well

    be happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2006-06-14 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      Nothing can be said but all I can do is to raise my hat for your wonderful poem, This is an amazing peice of art... I liked the way you captured that harsh feeling of being confused, suffering and being tortised by that magical spell of Love. I find that sad feeling in the whole poem... I really like this part :

    " Sigh.
    I want to scream, I want to cry.
    I want to smile, I want to die.
    When does the confusion and suffering end?
    That is, when you fall in love with a friend?

    You miss the times of joy spent together
    that now are a memory and spoiled forever.
    Tainted by guilt and uncomfortable feelings,
    imprisoned by drives that make up all of life's beings. "

    That is the same in which it has been with me, I have passed through a hard experience like this one you are talking about... It is really hard.
    Great Job,

    khaled.
    | Posted on 2006-06-14 00:00:00 | by Khaled AbdAllah | [ Reply to This ]


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