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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Paradoxical Emotionsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rev.jpfadeproof
    ASL Info:    27/m/nyc
    Elite Ratio:    6.09 - 366/363/154
    Words: 200
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 888
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1387



    Description:
       breaking up is hard to do....


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsParadoxical Emotionsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The mysterious whirlwinds
    of paradoxical emotions
    are tearing me from within.

    I trust you, yet
    my fear pulsates through me
    as icy waters through a vein.

    I love you, yet
    I loath you.

    I forgive you, yet
    I shall make you suffer.

    I am committed to you, yet
    not at all.

    Hours a day do we converse, yet
    All that is spoken is nothing more
    Than my illicit groaning.

    I laugh, albeit
    I solemnly weep.

    Life coos softly on the surface
    As death reigns within.

    I will reduce your foul
    frame to nothing.
    I will gleefully grind
    your fiendish soul to powder.
    The remnant of your being will i mix
    with the iniquitous blood that once
    slithered through your veins.
    To my lips will I raise the goblet
    of your sweet obliteration
    imbibing every drop of you.

    Your words of love
    are as a scourge
    of thorns upon flesh
    Shredding me beyond recognition.

    This notion of hope is as
    An Assyrian impaling.
    I am pierced through
    with the spear of betrayal
    and raised and exposed
    before the strength
    of the Middle Eastern sun
    scorched and weary I wither.




    Submitted on 2006-06-14 18:33:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      "slithered through your veins" HAHAHA well put. That is how I feel about that once "special someone" How fitting my friend. How true.

    6
    | Posted on 2007-01-20 00:00:00 | by fryte | [ Reply to This ]
      Well put...We are what we are. Thats what
    makes us human. How does it go?...................
    "How is it that both fresh and salt water flow from the same spring?"

    That was good. So far I enjoy yr work.
    Take care my friend

    Joshua
    | Posted on 2006-12-26 00:00:00 | by ooononotthatguy | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi john-paul,

    This was a good read to find today. Loss doesn't make any sense to us and while our anger mixed with love ascends, it becomes transformed. Heaven is a place of art, the transformation of negative into positive energy is what goes on. And especially if our hearts dwell in love most of the time can we be forgiven for the darkness we sometimes find in our own souls.

    I love that you are not pretentious and self righteous, that you will share these things here. Poetry is like confession, is it not? And those who do not practice won't have the chance to raise their guilt
    to a higher level. I love the art form because it often gives us specific theme for our healing, that is a gift. To be a poet is a gift.

    But this is mood stretched and you show us how the highs and lows sweep across you as you write...


    I am committed to you, yet
    not at all.

    Hours a day do we converse, yet
    All that is spoken is nothing more
    Than my illicit groaning.

    I laugh, albeit
    I solemnly weep.

    Life coos softly on the surface
    As death reigns within.

    I like your use of couplets, these are very strong statements and need the emphasis of this form. But its as if the emotions are so layered it is hard to find which one is controlling us. And yet in order to live we must wear a mask and continue, especially in your work. But when we focus on the needs of others, life becomes radiant with possibilities.

    This notion of hope is as
    An Assyrian impaling.
    I am pierced through
    with the spear of betrayal
    and raised and exposed
    before the strength
    of the Middle Eastern sun
    scorched and weary I wither.

    But once you die, nothing can take you so it fits. And though it's dark and diffcult, energy, love and light are all the same.

    Nan

    | Posted on 2006-12-19 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      Very strong and very dark. I'd almost say progressively pushed into psychotic. Ok, I'll say it, psychotic. Not that all psychotic episodes are dark by any means, but this one became distructive. Sometimes such is the result of love and trust betrayed or at least in fear of betrayal. Good realism.

    Personally, I like to at least end things on an upscale note because there is power in such words and you never know what lasting impression might be left upon a reader. Call it a redemption, forgiveness in the spirit that God forgives all, so why can't I? Of course we are not God nor always have such power. The advantage of this format is that it can be easily "flipped" by a simple rearrangement of words and some followup, you know what I'm saying? But that wouldn't be this poem.

    Christ within the work - and the picture gives more than a hint, but the identities seem to change over from Christ and what happened or still happens with Him to the reader/author, again sort of a psychosis which puts one about as close as you can get to being Christ (or Christ-like), yet it still has the distruction aspect.

    The whole point of Christ's suffering and death for which He has no regret is hope and salvation, again another poem. Good work and very thought provokiing.
    | Posted on 2006-12-10 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      Yeah, I know how hard it can be to loose someone you loved. Don't be too hard on yourself - you are a brilliant wordsmith. The last stanza is radiant with feeling, and the entire piece really does captivate. I like it, keep writing, and everything is going to be okay :)

    EE
    | Posted on 2006-06-15 00:00:00 | by EclecticEntropy | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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