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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Christ's Cinquiandots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rev.jpfadeproof
    ASL Info:    27/m/nyc
    Elite Ratio:    6.14 - 366/359/149
    Words: 131
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 644
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 372



    Description:
       attempting another cinquain...the count is
    2,3,7,9,and 2...now is this the right count or what.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsChrist's Cinquiandots
    -------------------------------------------


    Jesus
    Lion, lamb
    Gracing earth with glory
    Awestruck, enamored, amazing
    My Lord
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------




    Submitted on 2006-06-14 19:00:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      BTW I found this:

    CINQUAIN (sing-KANE)
    A five-line stanza of syllabic verse, the successive lines containing two, four, six, eight and two syllables. The cinquain, based on the Japanese haiku, was an innovation of the American poet, Adelaide Crapsey.
    | Posted on 2006-06-16 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      Great picture and a nice poem. My only hesitation was the word "amorous" I realize you mean full of love, but its modern day connotation throws your poem slightly sideways perhaps.

    Otherwise, excellent, a definite improvement.

    be happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2006-06-16 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice piece. The count is perfect. Um although I don't share your same religion, I can still say this was a great short piece. The picture scared me, lol, but it matched the poem to a tee. *shudders from the picture* I could go into a long discussion on religion, but I'll keep my opinions to myself this time, If you wanna know them, just message me. Religion is just difficult for me...ya know? Its based on faith, believing in something you can't see, yet "some" feel, I'm not part of that "some". Anywho, great piece.

    Lucy
    | Posted on 2006-06-15 00:00:00 | by rainbowXrazors | [ Reply to This ]
      This write I really like
    The picture you included with this matches the write perfectly
    I like the style you wrote this one in and I plan to write my own cinquain shortly
    A very powerful message stated brilliantly with your words
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-06-25 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Ok, well you asked in your description whether the syllable count in your cinquain was right... Graeme answered that it's supposed to be 2, 4, 6, 8, 2-- not 2, 3, 7, 9, 2... so to get this right you'd have to add a syllable to your second line and shave off a syllable each in your third and fourth lines. With slight editing this could be easily done... for example:

    Jesus
    Lion and lamb
    Gracing earth in glory
    Awestruck, amorous, amazing
    My Lord


    What do you think?

    As to the poem's message it carries a great universal theme that a lot of people can identify with. In such a tightly controlled form such as this clarity and brevity is everything and you've distilled it here with precision.

    Like Graeme also said, "amorous" caught me slightly off as well, yet it works as another meaning for "loving"... it just has connotations of "lust", y'know?

    Anyway, it's a nice piece.
    Peace,

    Jase
    | Posted on 2006-06-18 00:00:00 | by alteredlife | [ Reply to This ]


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