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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Great Hitdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: josymanthegreat
    ASL Info:    21/m/GA from Puerto Rico
    Elite Ratio:    4.73 - 337/364/104
    Words: 806
    Class/Type: Story/Dark
    Total Views: 867
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 4389



    Description:
       A story


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Great Hitdots
    -------------------------------------------


    They sat all together at the table on the dark night of May 15, 1995 planning and thinking about what was going to happen. Two men plotting a hit so big, that it would be known all around the island of Puerto Rico as the great hit. On the table a map of the area around the First Bank. The plans had been thought about for months now and tomorrow would be their chance to pull off what seemed impossible and unreasonable. Their government names were Josh and Jack but where they came from were known as "The Gorilla and Mastermind". Both of them grew up together in the same neighborhood back in Brisas de Cayey. Inseparable since their childhood, it was known all around that if one of them got in a fight the other would jump in so nobody around dared to mess with them. They grew up Josh developing into a muscular specimen, hence the alias Gorilla and Jack's train of thought being always two steps ahead becoming the brains of the operation. All through high school, they started bumping in with the rules of society commiting smaller crimes like shoplifting or mugging, but nothing as big as they had planned for the next day. The plan was complex and needed perfect timing to be executed something that had taken them months to get down while learning all the security the place had, all the setbacks they could encounter, and the concequences they could face if caught. Jack was sure it would all work out and was sure that Josh and himself could get away without any punishment. The next day approached fast and so the plan started. Mastermind walked in the bank with a brief case at around 3:30 PM made a deposit on his bank account and then went into the bank's bathroom climbing into the ceiling and conceiling where he was. Closing time approached and the manager of the bank was just leaving to go home when Gorilla showed up and trailed him to his house. The manager went home as usual, not knowing that he was being followed and as he got out the car he was bumrushed by Gorilla. The manager tried to put up a fight but Josh's strength was too much for him to handle. "If you make any attempt to contact anyone I will kill you and your family" Gorilla whispered into the manager's ear while holding a gun to the guys forehead. "Now I need one thing from you and I will have it or else. I need the security code for the safe and if you are fvcking with me I will blow your fingers away one by one after I do the same to your wife and kids and I swear I'll kill them and make you watch them die before you join them". The manager picturing the events in his head did as Gorilla said and gave him the code. "Mastermind I got the code, what we do now?" "Well first of all don't kill him, we need him to open the bank early tomorrow remember". Josh gave Jack the code and Jack got down from the roof and went straight to the safe, opening it and looking at all the Benjamins there. He must have stashed at least 20 million in the bags as sunrise came. As planned the manager opened the bank with Gorilla holding the 9mm to his back. Mastermind put all the bags in the getaway van and then told Gorilla to kill the manager. "He already has seen your face and is of no use anymore, so hurry up and put a bullethole in that dude Josh" and so the poor manager lost his life and won a new hole in his forehead, not that it would be useful for anything since he was dead. As they went down the highway Mastermind said "That was great Gorilla 70-30" Josh looked at Jack like he was crazy, "70-30? This is a 50-50 business but fvck that now I want all of it Mastermind". Jack stopped the van and pointed his gun at Gorilla while Gorilla did the same pointing his at Jack. The argument got heated and they started hearing the sirens coming closer and closer every second. "I ain't going to jail Jack put your weapon down" "Fvck that Josh I ain't going nowhere till you put yours down" "NO YOU PUT YOURS DOWN" "NO FVCKING WAY" and then two shots were heard. In their greed for money and to get out of the hard life of the hood, they killed each other. All over the news it was heard. "The greatest robery in the island of Puerto Rico failed after the two robbers shot each other in the van they were running away in".




    Submitted on 2006-06-15 10:55:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      That was awsome. I love the ending, it is so unexpected. The story starts out a little slow but it's definatly good. Great plot. Good piece, keep writing.

    Sarah
    | Posted on 2006-08-12 00:00:00 | by S.A.M. | [ Reply to This ]


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